Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Always - Have a Happy Period!

My foot! Who did you think came up with this slogan? Obviously has to be a MAN! I mean really? Have a happy period? Anyone who has had a period will know better than to put on the piece of paper holding the flaps of a sanitary napkin together.

If you are of the squeamish and want to do ewwww-what-is-she-talking then please stop reading here. I am not actually going to go into details but please feel to free to check out other posts in this blog. I am definitely not writing about any of my nasty fantasy but about something that caught my attention the other day and I could not stop laughing.

I mean periods are fine. Not like I have any choice but I would definitely not pop any of those pills that keep periods away and in the process make me a man, well at least that is what I think about it. But then they (periods) are certainly not fun or HAPPY for that matter.

The whole process is so stressing, think about it and if you are a girl relate to me. It starts with a PMS, yelling, screaming, senseless fights and tears, then moves on to a bloat, not as if you were not feeling fat already and then it finally makes a presence with all the fan fare of the cramp where you feel like you are in labor for three darn days! And neither of this is hopefully painting a happy picture in your head.

So my dear caption writer, please repeat for my sake again, How on earth can I have a HAPPY Frigging Period?? How? Or why? It is natural, true, but that does not mean I should be HAPPY about it. So many other things are natural but do we go about being happy about them? If you do not have a smart caption to think about, just leave the darned piece of paper empty or if you want to advertise just put the name of the product, leave your smart Alec thinking behind or better still ask any women in your life what they think about it. Jerk!

And god forbid you are a women who came up with it, then please go visit a psych. or you might be one of those on the drug I mentioned above, then you are half way to becoming a man anyway!

8 comments:

Shar said...

ROFLMAO....
Anu, Kudos...This post made me laugh so hard, i almost scared teh crap out of my Co worker :) :)...How true!! As long as I can trace back my memory, i have never ever had a Happy Period. And if there is infact a person who has ahd a happy period...I swear, they are lying to ur face!!!
The pill is the limit...come on, the advert says, u will have only 4 periods a year..So now u have a choice of being Bitchy and crabby 12 months a year or bring on a Super Bitched, Psychobabble, tantrum filled, 4 periods a Year, that make you feel bloated like a floating Blimp...
Yeah, i think the choice is pretty obvious here, honey!!! :)

P said...

you know I completely understand and share your experiences, but I also know these couple of "extremely lucky" females, who barely notice any change!
And as far as these pills go, I am strongly against altering nature's processes unless necessary! Something nasty is bound to happen if u mess around nature is what I feel! And as if my intuition is not bad enough... try reading the list of so called "side effects"!!! That should do the trick!

Vijayanand said...

Anu, I wouldnt have even guessed who you are by just your first name but the Russel and Tharanath part gave it away. You might or might not probably remember me as you were in maybe 5th std when you saw us last(?) but me and my elder brother(Vasu or officially Sridhar) lived down the street from the A3 house you were in at BHEL(till '86 and then we moved to different section of the township) and my late father Rajagopalan was a close friend and colleague of your father's. I remember Shah, Balaji and the kite flying wars they had with my brother, the tennis matches, the trip to US in 79 our fathers had together and the photos which we still have and remember you as a slightly naughty girl tough for your mother to handle :-). I was in US for quite sometime but currently settled in Bangalore.
Internet has made it a really small world. Good to see you blogging. Surprised to see some of the photos and being able to barely recognize.
How are your parents doing? Are they settled in US permanently?
Hope Shah/Balaji are doing fine. Just stumbled upon here while searching for something. I guess thats how we end up finding most of our long lost contacts and such these days.
Were you by any chance in Annanagar earlier?
Best wishes from an old acquaintance, even if you have a tough time remembering us :-)

Megha Bansal said...

hahaha, u are ridiculously funny!!!

oh..and crazy in the head ;)

Anu Russell said...

OMG Vijay, of course I remember you. We were talking about you and Vasu the other day only when mom was visiting me. We always go over the list of our childhood friends and see what everyone is doing...send me your email...

@Shar, P, MG, thanks guys...hugssss...

and yes I really think for somethings it is better to choose natural than go the scientific way!

Suchi said...

Hahahaha.....this post was so hilarious and so true too!

remabh said...

lol... you just mentioned my problems & iritation towards those catchy advt lines in this post... the only difference is that your writing is funny :)

Anu Russell said...

@Suchi, isn't it? So annoying these captions are!!! Thanks darling.

@Rema...thanks hon...all girls identify with this so easily...wonder why they put silly captions on the product! What is hte necessity.