Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Why Weight?

I run. I run in hot Dallas sun. I run when it is hot but the sun is gone. I try to run and land up walking. I try to walk and land up running. All so that I can loose the few pounds to get back to my pre-prego weight. Darn it, I am ready to give up. There is just no point. No matter how much I run, I eat. I really double up the calories into my stomach and then try to run it off. That is no good now, is it?

All the running gives me free time to think. The music blares in my ear but my mind is wandering. I am everywhere but on the road. On one of those dreamy running moment, my brain took me back to when I was this small, like say about 3 years old. My mother was very concerned, I ate normally but I looked like skin and bones stuck together with buck tooth to make things worse. 

When I was in my 5th standard, it was established by a doctor that I was anemic. Doctor ordered mutton and loads of spinach. My mother knew nothing of cooking meat. She cooked mutton like she would potato. Either it was not cooked well or over cooked. And spinach, I still cannot eat it without feeling slightly disgusted at least once because I was overfed dal-palak. My hatred for mutton and spinach started then.

That diet helped me get less anemic but the weight gain issue was still present. It never bothered me because at that time and age being skinny was neither fad or looked down upon. So I existed content that no matter what I stuffed down my throat I did not gain an ounce more than what I did yesterday.

Life progressed into college. All that eating continued and nothing changed other than my pre-dominantly South Indian genes took over me. I still did not gain an ounce of weight but my ass grew. It really had a mind of its own. All the dancing I did for school and college culturals did not help either. So now I looked like a full fledged pear. Still super skinny every where but the one place where I did not want to gain any weight.

Now, all of you pear shaped ladies know that once you get the rear growing, there ain't no stopping it. It might stop growing but it ain't never gonna shrink. Well that is where I was when I came to the USA. Over dosing on french fries, jalapeno poppers, and all that ranch sauce did not really help...

Oh! and when I got pregnant I really ate like I was eating for two adults. Not for an adult and a few days old fetus, but for two big burly adults. Well, now I struggle. I sweat it out. But gosh darn it, I wish I could go back to the days when I cried through my lunch eating crappy mutton (sorry amma!) and spinach. That is what I want, a skinny me, with no worries of what I ate and how much I ate. I still eat a lot, but feel slightly guilty after wards...slightly only because I love to eat!

I keep reminding myself, the ultimate motive is to remain healthy, not thin but healthy. As if I could ever get skinny, heh! But healthy, I want healthy (I really want thin) I keep telling myself to no avail. Let me see how much of the earth I can occupy. It is me against the planet now.

Watch out Earth. 


Tuesday, June 14, 2011


Nowadays for me, watching movies or TV has taken a backseat. When I say that, I wish to reiterate that while I still love watching TV or movies and spend ample hours doing so, I keep my phone next to me. If a game is slow or boring, my phone is turned on and I start reading about the players and the same for a movie.

While watching a movie, G and I have actually paused the movie mid stream to check who the actor is or what his background is, etc. Like the other day we were watching 'Milk,' an amazing movie if you have not seen it. I fell instantly head over heels in love with Milk's boyfriend Scott. I had no idea who he was, instant Wiki revealed James Franco to me. Of course, I missed the Oscars this year and I did not see 127 sorry. But James Franco it latest celeb crush. So what if he turns out to be gay, not like we are going to be an item if we meet...

The other day, same thing, I am watching the MAVS game, simultaneously Wiki'ng about all the players. I now know where Barea is from, what JT's kids names are and whom J Kidd is going to marry. I had Wiki'd Nowitzki so long ago and I did not have to do that again.

So basically, as a movie, show, or game unfolds, I sit in front of the idiot box trying to gain some knowledge about the important players on the screen. I keep pouring in the newly gained knowledge to G and he also sometimes starts on his least we are still a conversational family :)


Monday, June 06, 2011

Summer is here!!!

We celebrated the Memorial Day long weekend by spending time with G's brother in Houston. Babs gets so excited at the very mention of her uncle's name. He pampers her and she has two little kids to boss around. She surprised us on the drive there by not wanting to pee even once and by keeping to herself the whole drive. She sang songs, talked to herself, taught imaginary friends something or she looked out the window. G and I were so happy that I did not have to look behind and answer a million questions. My little girl is growing up, no more diaper bags, no more extra set of clothes. On some days, we just get out of the house as is. What a change from me having to make a list and plan what I need to take with me and carry a heavy bag everywhere. I still carry snacks because she gets hungry at odd times.

Now that summer has officially started, her school is closed and the temps are touching 100 degs everyday for the past week, Babs is not going to her Montessori any more. She is back to her favorite baby sitter P. P has a daughter T who is a year older than Babs but they grew up together for a year and half and hence have a super strong love-hate relationship. The day starts of brilliant, the kids share, play together, do everything fun and towards the end of the day when tiredness sets in they cannot stand the sight of each other. But the very same night before going to bed, Babs tiredly asks me, "Amma, I will go to play with T again tomm? Please?" P tells me that it is the same story there too,

So in short, G and I feel so much at ease. P gives Babs a bath, has her well fed on Aloo Paratha, sabzee, fruits, and a good dose of Marwari Hindi (any Hindi maybe better than mine). Babs, I feel is much more relaxed. I don't have any tantrums to deal with since she started going to P. The last two months while she was at school, she was developing a temper but now that is gone. I am wondering if school was stressful for her. I am happy to see a relaxed hubby who does not have to get up early to drop daughter off at her Montessori and me because I have spare time since on most days Babs is already fed and taken care of. Thanks P, you are awesome! and Thanks for giving me and G also a much needed summer break.

This past weekend, Babs and I went to Nasher once again. We had super fun. She did the scavenger hunt, the balloon room, art activity, yoga, hung out in the garden admiring sculptures and imitating them before finishing it off with the dance performance some kids put up. It was awesome, as hot as it was, we got to do something outdoorsy, thanks to the beautifully shaded garden, something educational, and something fun. I plan to take her at least once more before the end of the year. Hopefully she will go to the art museums with me because her father hates it.

And finally, saw Rafa beat Fed in the finals of French Open. Phew! Thanks...after seeing Rafa get beaten by Djoker so many times in the ATP 1000 series it was a pleasant surprise to see Fed in the final and Rafa playing his best. I really hope to see them face off in Wimbledon finals. Lets see how things go.

Now if only Mavs won the Championship....sigh...