Thursday, January 05, 2017

The Flower in my Garden!!!

Image result for saavn
I am loving Saavn! I have gone to the past and danced in the present with the awesome collection of music. I love hearing old Tamil songs. The songs that I grew up with. Each song reminds me of a certain time in my life. From Raja to Rahman to Vaali to Vairamuthu are all filled with memories...

En veetu thotathil from Gentleman now playing in my ears reminds me of the song my classmate quoted for me when I was not sure if I really liked this guy who kept pursuing me...she kept singing it to me till I said "yes" to him. A very short lived relationship that nevertheless has left me with memories. Gentleman released at a time in life when I was young, in high school, 11std, had no worries and there were many choices all around me...every song in that movie reminds me of those days past.

Šøllukkum Arthathukkum Thøørangal Kidaiyaathu
Šøllaatha Kaathal Èllaam Šørgathil Šaeraathu


(the second line means - Unsaid love will not reach heaven).

At that age my classmate was my love guru. She had been dating her much older neighbor since 8th grade! The last I checked on FB looks like she did end up marrying him! Some commitment! In my case...did not work out for more than 2 months, or maybe less...don't remember now. All I do remember is that he was a good dancer.

A Reminiscing ART

Friday, December 16, 2016

Compliments! Backhanded Of Course!

I volunteer at S's school sometimes. It is always a unique feeling when I get there. Very rarely have I felt welcome. I am a working mom who volunteers 5 to 6 times a year unlike the other moms who do a lot more for my daughter. I am eternally grateful for them. I am always trying to blend in, to see if there is any common ground and I am yet to find something.

This morning we had Holiday Parties and I was there, standing alone, yet again, wondering how I can bust my way into the clique that has formed with me on the outside. I waited calmly for someone to talk but everyone was busy so I just waited. Eventually the festivities began and two mom's next to me started to chat. I tried to join in and figured out they were talking about makeup, so I randomly nodded my head without really paying any attention to what was going on...

Mom 1: I did my eyes today so that it would take people's attention from all this (she said while pointing to her lower part of the face.)
Mom 2: I know, it is very difficult, I never do make up but now I am having to, to hide all this.
Me: What?
M2: You don't have to worry about anything, you have perfect skin.
Me: What?
M1: You must be like 40 plus with the skin of a 25 year old.
Me, in my head: WTF! I am just bloody standing here, I get told I have good skin (yay!) and then get told that I am 2 plus years older than I actually am (Bloody F).
M1 and M2, check my face while I stand like a dumbass still wondering What?? happened here!

We move rooms and I am now next to another mom, who is wearing a pair of boots that I would love to own! I am lusting about it and I mention to her...

Me: Love your boots.
Her: Thanks.
Thirty second pause while she is thinking what to compliment me with...
Her: I love your eyebrows...
Me: Thanks...
Her: All you Indian people have amazing eyebrows that crown your entire eye.
Me, instead of just saying thanks and letting it go, bring myself down in the classing way only I can do: No, see I have black hair, if I do not shape it on time, I am growing a forest. I have to shape my eyebrows, remove upper lip hair, ugh! I hate this whole hair removing business...

Yup, she lost interest in me very soon. And I am wondering why I do not fit in...hah!

I got complimented for the whole Indian group of eyebrows...I got told I am old with good skin...I walked out amused. There is no way I can get on top of this. I will keep on trying though...maybe just say Thanks and shut up next time might help.

Still rocking the good skin at my age!
Amused ART

Monday, December 12, 2016

Scarf That!

An office friend traveled to South East Asia a few years ago and came back with a scarf for a gift for me and another colleague. I remember looking at the piece of cloth wondering what to do with it. I did not know what it was either. I took it home and placed it my closet with other miscellaneous pieces of oddball cloths. The other colleague also had no idea what to do with it. She used it as a coaster.

It took me almost 7 years to figure out what it was. It was a scarf. I was not fashion forward. I had seen my friend wear it as a scarf but never thought I could pull it off...Not sure if I am still pulling it off but I like it. It keeps me warm on a cold day while looking colorful and cute. I wear it ruffled or pleated. I wear it on blues and reds and other colors. I like how it pops out of my black jacket to add color to my life. I don't need neck jewelery!

Thanks friend for the beautiful gift that has stayed with me for so many years and now is making a mark in my life...

While I am scarfing it up now, I wonder where the other scarf is? In the trash? Dusting tables and windows? It did after all start its life as a coaster, cannot go much higher now can it? I wonder what my friend thought every time she walked past the coaster scarf?

Scarfed up ART

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Just Wondering...

Recently, someone in our neighborhood did something wrong...for example say, cutting lane while driving. It always frustrates me when people do that to me when I am driving. I sometimes honk, show them the finger, or abuse them, depending on my mood and that is that. I forget about it after a few minutes.

When I drive back home from work, there is this particular red light for a left turn which takes forever. The line is very long, extends all the way back into the highway sometimes. A lot of people try to take the right lane and then merge left closer to the light. This simple act delays the rest of us waiting in line patiently, very frustrating. I have let people cut in several times and in a few occasions have been the annoying person myself. My apologies. The point is, we all make mistakes while driving, some knowingly while most are just bad judgement. We have to give others the benefit of doubt because we have also been in similar situations.

Now imagine bad driving experience happening in your neighborhood, where you might bump into the person on a social occasion, or at school. So you cannot show the finger, or abuse, or honk, you have to politely let it slide, show restraint. With some people that does not happen. They took this person, the line cutter, to task. They posted it on Facebook, our community page, and not just that, there is a photo too, with license plate and all.

I put myself in that driver's position. There could be 1000 reasons why I could have chosen to do the bad deed, putting little school walking kids in danger. None of them could be justifiable. But what the Facebook poster do is single me out. She tried to say that I was the only offender of the sort in the world and she has never done anything close to it while driving. She chose to ridicule me at the cost of my privacy and my children's safety. She assumed that posting it there and having 40 other people abuse me, bash me and call me names are acceptable and did not stop to realize that she was bullying another mother who's kid might also be in the same school.

When I saw the post, I was so angry. I was so angry with the FB poster. I wondered how women in their effort to sound self-righteous can become callous. The poor lady was in tears, angry, embarrassed, and everything else. I am disappointed to see my neighbors behave this way. FB community page is for information sharing not for venting out personal vendetta's.

I am out of FB to keep my sanity, to stop wasting my time on the videos and gif's and meme's. I only checked message if they were from the communities I am a part of or from a few friends but I completely stopped responding to any messages or randomly liking things only to not hurt another person's feelings. Now I feel liberated...well, at least until I read such stupidity and get upset about. What horrible people would bully an adult woman and gang up on her! Ugh! With all technology we still remain stuck to our pettiness.

An Irate ART

Monday, July 11, 2016

Messaging Woes...

Please...


  1. Reply promptly to invites. Wouldn't you like that for you when you invite others?
  2. Respond promptly to messages. A lot of times your response decides what I will do with my time or resources. Your delay in response can cause unnecessary inconveniences that can be avoided.
  3. Understand that no one likes to be another's Plan D. If you cannot make me a priority, I understand, but do not make me feel used.
  4. I can see that you have read my message...don't think you can fly under the radar and reply 3 days after and say that you had not read my message before...tsk tsk tsk.
  5. NO is a totally acceptable response to an invite or a request. If you cannot handle it, you need to do some introspection. I should not be afraid to say to NO to you because you are psychologically bullying me into doing what you want. This is the worst feeling in a relationship and can cause irreparable damage.
  6. Even if you want to say NO to something I am asking, please do so promptly. I will try and keep check on my emotions and deal with it in a mature way. But it always helps for me to hear the rejection now than later.
  7. Try to not make plans and then dump me. I understand unstoppable circumstances. I have done the same...and I get it. Sucks to be on both sides.
  8. Oh! and please do not read emotions in my simple statements or messages. I will express my mood with emoticons. I am known to abuse their usage...so you will know how I am feeling at any given time. 
  9. And yes, this post is totally factual and any resemblance to sarcasm or frustration is purely coincidental. 
  10. And no, this post is not directed at any one person but to all my interaction on Whatsapp with my many friends individually and in groups. So, if you think this is all about you, I am sorry to disappoint you. It is not always all about you but maybe one or two things do apply to you :P (see...Emoticon use :P)
  11. Oh! and I have done a lot of the above as well...I am on the mend now, hopefully you will head that way too...Respect and be Respected.
In the days and age of Whatsapp, I can really see who is doing what...almost...not stalking at all...nope! But really, I can see who got my message and if you read it or not. I want to keep my friendships clean and clear with no hard feelings and looks like Whatsapp might cause a few dents here and there...

A Messaging ART