Tuesday, November 04, 2008

The most heart wrenching thing

to watch is leaving your daughter at her baby sitter and walk away. Ignore the out stretched arms and the cry to go back home with you. Ignore everything and turn away and quickly run to your car. It is more so hurtful when the child you are leaving back is not feeling well. But such is life, to provide for the future of the baby mom and dad have to work and there is really no other way of justifying this hurt.

9 comments:

Shar said...

Well Said Anu.....I am going to be in that stage next year (winks*)..But i already know it is going to take a lot courage to take my little one to day care...maybe i should have the Dad do it:) :)

Anu Russell said...

hey congrats shar
when is the due date???!!! that is awesome!

Shar said...

Thank u:)....June 13th, 2009 :) :)

Anu Russell said...

yay!!! that is awesome!!! All the best!

Prasanthi Neeladaran said...

Tears almost rolled out when I read your posting! Seriously those are the most toughest moments for any mom!!!!!!! Good Luck. Remember it is for the lil one's good too:)so dont beat yourself up. Easy said than done - I know! TC

Anu Russell said...

PN

I knew you would understand it...every mom doing it day in and day out understand what it is...it is painful...

BH said...

Hi Anu,

Not a mom yet, but understand how it must feel.
I know I will not quit my job when I have kids for the same reason - better financial security and most importantly, I like going to work outside the home, having a career and being finacially independent. Off the topic- how many weeks of did you get for maternity leave, how did you manage the feedings in the initial months? Do you think that there are people who would look upon a mom-leaving-kids-at-daycare as if she is not caring enough for her baby and being selfish and that they are/were were better moms as they stayed with the kids at home? ok..lemme stop now

Anu Russell said...

It is pretty sad to see my daughter reaching out for me and me running away from her so that I don’t prolong the torture for her as well as me.

I cannot afford to quit my job and stay at home, not that we are very tight on cash but in the current economy every penny earned is good for the future, for her only. And of course you are right, it gives me the financial independence as well a feel that I am helping my husband by sharing his burden on our family.

I get 12 weeks of maternity leave at work. Of which 2 weeks are paid and the rest is unpaid. I had opted for the temporary disability funds so I got paid for 6 weeks. And I made a deal with my office that I will return to work on the 7th week and the rest of the days that I have, I will avail it when I need it the most for the purpose of my daughter’s of my own health or other emergencies. My office agreed and helped me out with that.

Daughter was sent to daycare the day after she turned three. I expressed milk at work and provided that to my baby sitter to feed the baby with and I managed that way for 10 months after which I stopped feeding her.

My friends who are stay-at-home mom’s at least haven’t directly ever told me that they are better than me. So I am assuming they don’t feel like that. But then I read other blogs about mom’s who make a big deal of it (because thye, thereby making me second guess my choice. It is not like I had the baby when I did not want one…and that I care less for her just because I send to a daycare. And I feel, that it is our personal choice and we don’t have to be judged or don’t have to explain it to anyone. It is our baby and as long as we have the baby’s best interest in mind I am sure she/he will be perfectly fine and they will understand when they grow up what we have sacrificed and what we have felt everyday time and again when we leave them with a baby sitter.

Did that answer your questions? Shoot more my way…always glad to help. And BH reveal yourself...I would like to know for whom I am sending such long responses to! Thanks :)
ART

BH said...

Yes, you are right, you should know for whom you're sending such long responses! BH - Blog Hopper!! No, I am Priti - don't know how I stumbled upon your blog, but like reading it.