Friday, September 04, 2009

'Tis one of those...

days when I want to say so many things but my fingers feel numb and don't want to do much typing. Yet, I am trying...

I have questions...do you have answers?
  • Do you think you are perfect? And if you are prefect, do you see others as being imperfect? And if you think so, do you go around flaunting your perfect-ness and correcting others?
  • Why is that, this particular long weekend is not exciting me?
  • Why do I hate changes so much?
  • Why am I not happy when I should be elated?
  • Why am I a heartless Bitch sometimes?
  • Why? why? why????????
Actually I am not in a total sad mood but right now thoda not upbeat...

Anyways, I saw someone online who had been missing for a while. When I pinged him he told me that his mother had passed away. I was at loss for words. It gave me a super jolt and I told him how sorry I was. He told me not to worry because he was fine. I was surprised to hear that but I was also happy. And then a whole set of thoughts ran through my head...

I remember my mother mourning for my uncle. She would not step out of the house of talk to anyone but us for more than six months. She somehow could not get herself to meet people and discuss it. So dad did not invite anyone over and mom did not go out anywhere with us.

And here, I see my friend online, if only for briefly, I was still surprised and shocked. Not that I judge him, but it just made me think. I concluded that in my mom's time greeting the milk man at the door every morning or buying veggies from the door to door vendor would be today's equivalent to being online. It is something we have to do no matter what the surrounding circumstance is. Mom could not avoid cooking and we cannot avoid checking emails or just seeing what is happening in the world through our 17" monitors.

When I had Babbi, I had to be online the very same day. No matter what. I had to check email, send pics, and all those things. But in my mom's time, I am sure she took rest or spent time admiring me...

Anyways...enough of my sadness on a Friday before long weekend...

Hope everyone has a Fab Labor day!

Love
ART

3 comments:

Sum said...

Saw this post on Saturday from my handheld and typed out a long comment. And it was the first time i was using the handheld for blogging... For some reason, i couldn't post the comment.... nd lost it :((
Okie.... may be u're thinking of too many things.... The thing about being perfect, and then about the guy who lost his mother... Anyway, different ppl take things in diff ways.... Also some ppl find it difficult to discuss painful stuff with others, as was ur mom's case..... may be thats the case with him....

Okie.. the comment has grown too long.... Hope u're out of that mood and enjoying ur long weekend....

Megha Bansal said...

maybe coz the inlaws would leave?
coz you had no real plans?
coz u weren't sure you would get to see me ;)

everyone has their way of dealing with grief, someone i knew also had a similar reaction to his mom passing away. we would all be surprised. but that is good right?

i know u are out of your rut..and feeling better, so i am happy :)

P said...

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pass it along to 5 others! :)