Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Things I would not do...

When I was pregnant a few things irritated me...I never spoke about it because I know the people saying it were my good friends who thought that they were doing me a favor...but here is a small list...

1) I absolutely did not like people warning me about the impending lack of sleep after the baby arrived...it was one thing to let you know about it...and it was completely another to tell it like, "Oh wait...once you have your baby...forget sleep and all that...then you will know what it is like..."

I am sitting and wondering...I know not everyone enjoys the first few days with baby...but why are you so bitter about it? and somewhere there are the unsaid words of "join the club."

2) You can touch my belly...but ask me first...unless of course you are my husband or one of my BFF's.

3) "Oh! you are getting induced? Thank god I did not have to go through that." And I was looking at this girl thinking WTF???

4) "So how is it like being a mother?" Well I really cannot describe it to you because it is something that needs to be felt personally and no amount of words can describe the excitement, tensions, fun, confusions, etc, etc, etc,....ya very personal...sorry had to give you the cliched..."I am sooooooooo excited..." crap...

There are many more...and you know what I will keep adding them...the list goes on...

Most of my pregnancy was peaceful...but for the few times a few of my friends (ya friends) ruined it for me...I hope I will never do the same to others...and ever since I have made it clear to my friends who are pregnant that they will hear only the positive sides of having a child...ya you do loose sleep but by the time the baby is a year old...you do not remember any of those sleepless nights or those cranky days...they are all gone replaced by half teeth butting out here and there and the glorious smile of recognition that comes upon their face when they see you...so relax and enjoy during your pregnancy awaiting the entry of the life that will change you for ever...will make you see your past, present and future in a different light...and stop worrying about trivialities such as sleep, hunger, etc etc etc...they last only for a year or two at most...in the grand scheme of things how much time is 2 years???


Note to self-1: Not a fan of hypocrisy or hypocrites
Note to self-2: Guilty of committing the crime...I will henceforth never ask anyone/a couple/newlywed/etc/etc...if they are planning to have a kid soon, or if they are pregnant, or if they are trying, etc etc etc...Sorry to those whom I asked this before...did not mean to put undue pressure or make an awkward situation...
Note to self-3: I should stop abusing the acronym ETC...

4 comments:

Megha Bansal said...

am i guilty of any of these? i am sure the first one! yeah defi! ;)

u know what's funny about hypocrites, they don't like their kind either, but will still be one :D

and for the last note to self, THANK GOD!!! ;) lol, kidding!

Anu Russell said...

I don't really clearly remember who said what...but these things just happened to stay in my mind...only after you have a child do you realize the various angles that you never saw when you were single...

Ya...I know...about hypocrites...in the process I hope I am not one...at least not verbally...I am sure most of say one thing and then keep another thing within ourselves for the sake of diplomacy...

etc
etc
etc
etc
etc
etc

there you go!

arul john said...

I've stopped talking or even saying hi to the retards (especially some of the Filipinos around here) who keep asking every other day when we are planning to have a baby. I just ignore them these days. One guy (I don't even know his darn name!) would ask me EVERYTIME he met me when we are going to have a baby. Well, he had a second baby and good for him. Let him shut up with that. Why does he have to keep asking me 3 or 4 times a week about our baby making plans? Nowadays I just walk in another direction if I ever see that idiot in the train station.

Some others (usually Filipinos) keep giving us advice about baby raising when we don't need it. I mean come on, we don't even have a baby and the unwanted advice comes pouring in.

I realise its a cultural thing for Indians and Filipinos to keep talking about babies right from the time of marriage, but for some impatient people like me (and you), it gets saturated and after a period of time, we blow up. At least I do.

And I never asked people about when *they* plan to have babies, simply because *I* don't expect them to ask ME or my wife. Once they start asking very personal questions like that, I'll change the topic to ask them something that they are not comfortable about, and the "conversation" goes kaput.

Anu Russell said...

I am guilty of committing the crime Arul...but then one day i decided that i will not do it any more because i saw that it can make people upset and put undue pressure on partners...so there...mum is the word...

I think you should tell those Filipinos directly that you do not wish to discuss the topic and they should learn to shut up.