Trying to Rest at Home

I have been really sick before but I never took the time off to stay home. I was always back at work. I felt that if I stayed at home, I would be cleaning, organizing, sorting, and doing things I did not get done before. The last time I did that was in Feb of 2008 when I had flu and I could not move a limb. And now again, I am at home spending time on the couch. I cannot move and do any cleaning even I wanted to. The knee hurts, so I am sitting with heat pad to the back, cold pack on my knees, water bottles, remote controls, phone and laptop with lotsa pillows and blankets. I really hope not to move though I did sweep the house clean. I could not bear to see my hair taking over the floor space.

At the same time, I am sitting at home feeling super guilty that I have sent my daughter who has a cold to school because I really cannot take care of her the way I am right now. Mentally too, I am exhausted and I am really short with her. The guilt is immense but if I recover soon, then maybe I can take care of her better. I don't think that with a broken knee I can do much of parenting other than asking her to fetch me things (which she does beautifully) or to sit down and be a good girl. So I have convinced myself that this is good.

Mommy guilt sucks the most in the world. If only there was a way I could meditate the whole thing away...how nice would that be?

Since I am at home, doing nothing but sitting on my ass...I might actually post today...random things. I really want to sort the pics from our SFO/LA/Vegas trip. Hopefully I do that and get them online for family and make the album I wanted to do...lets see...

Love
ART

Em-Brace it!

Most of the time when someone gets hurt they always have a good story, or at least a story. Well, I am obviously different. I have hurt my knee really bad, for the first time in my life, and I do not know how or when it happened. I am in pain, unable to walk and still no story. I rake through my brain, and nope, none. I twisted it and have no recollection of when! Well, that is taking being Clumsy to a new height...a "forgetful clumsy."

The only background I can see to the story is that I went for a boot camp on Friday, but that was two days before the pain started. Maybe I had strained some ligament after the boot camp and when I jumped out of our very high bed I twisted it. But again, no real solid story, just a surmise because Saturday and Sunday I was perfectly fine with the normal post-boot camp thigh pain which is painful but fun (you know it!).

At the end of it, I am sitting with a possible LCL tear (hopefully that is what this is) and a prayer hoping that it wont get any more complicated. I am wearing a brace, taking thrice as much time to get chores done, getting no chores done, feeling super sorry for myself and crying at random things (yes I am super emo like that), expecting my 4 year old to take care of me (yep, dependent too), limping, screaming while trying to make turns, unable to sleep comfortably, icing the swelling....and more...I can go on but I am going to stop before everyone starts hating a me, the cribber...but you get the point, one torn knee and life goes downward.

Anyways, I took Babs to Beauty & Beast on Sunday and she loved it!

Love
ART

My throat is Sat

I would love for Babs to speak at least 2 languages. I can fluently 4 languages and communicate in 4 others. The advantages for that need not be re-written by me. Since she started school after summer this year, the task is getting more and more difficult for me and G. We try to remind her to talk to us in Hindi but she switches back with no difficulty to English and almost always has to be threatened to translate it for us. There are times when G and I play the silent game where we do not respond to her until she switches language. All this is painful, really.

During New Year's Eve party, Babs and her friend R were screaming their lungs out, dancing, running around, and in general tired. When I sat down to take a break, Babs ran to my lap, relaxed on me and told me in a hoarse voice, "amma, my throat has sat." All of us burst out laughing. She was literally translating, "Mera gala bait gaya," into English.

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While we were in San Francisco for the year end we visited Berkeley a lot. All of us awwed and oohed at the awesome campus that nature had made for the university. Mountains on one side and the bay on the other. Wow! So Babs kept asking what it was, and I told her about the awesome school that Berkeley is...

When we got back to town, I had to get Babs re-updated to school life and I started helping her with spelling and simple addition. While I was folding laundry, she was busy doing her 6 sums, all single digit addition, and it was taking her a lot of time. Suddenly she looked up and asked me, "Amma, which one should I go to? Berkeley or Harvard?"

Me: What? Why would you ask that?

Babs: You tell me that if I study well, I will go to a good school right?

Me: Have you added 1+6 yet?

Ya, I have spoken to her about Harvard, and I threaten her from time to time that if she makes it to a community college then ma, and pa ain't funding her...but I am really hoping that I will not be a parent who is hovering over her child all the time...but who knows...lets see...

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On January 8th, we took Babs to a full length feature (animated) film in a theater. It was a gamble. I was worried that she will talk too much (which she did), and I was worried that I might disturb other patrons (which I did not). I was also worried that I might not enjoy the movie (which I did) and worried that I will never do this again (I am so going to...Beauty and the Beast...here we come!).

The movie was Tintin. I picked up some Quesadilla for her and a lemonade and I made her have her dinner while watching the movie. She had questions from time to time because she did not know who was who and what was what but she whispered most of the time. She was always concerned for Snowy and did not care much for others...

At the end of the movie, she tells me, "I love Tintin."

Ten minutes into the drive home, "Amma tell me about the movie, I did not understand anything."

Two days after the movie, G and Babs were doing Captain Haddock and Red Rackham style sword fight using her thunder sticks! 

I know, she got it...in 5 years she will also memorize all Tintin books like the rest of us! :) Cannot wait to re-read them with her.

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Right now her favorite songs are: Lukka Chupi from RDB,Aadat Se Majboor from Ladies Vs Ricky Bahl. She is always singing one of these songs. I had forced her to learn Yamunai Aatrile but she prefers to sing Lukka Chupi. I am the one singing boy part...and I love to jam with her...although my singing credentials are totally suspect...I love singing with her.

In the last 6 months, she has learnt to color within the lines and also know her alphabets in written form too. She can count a bit and can try and add...though 1+6 to her as E=mc^2 is to me. We are making progress but my hectic work schedule last year completely took me off working with her on anything.

Before I sign off, here is her singing Yamunai Aatrile! Please pardon her pronunciation, though now she has become better at it.

Love,

Your Amma