Monday, May 18, 2009

So many things to do...

Yet, there is always so little time right? After I got pregnant, I put my life on hold and told myself that I am going to be a mother so no high heels, no make up, no partying, no this and no that and changed the way I was. Then after I had Babs I continued on the same path. No chain on my neck or jewelery on my fingers, no high heels still, and no lipstick, not much TV anymore for me, and so on and so forth. I did this so that I wont hurt Babs. Now, I will never claim that I am the BEST mother on planet earth, because I don't know what the job description for that is, but I am doing my best and I am happy when I go to bed at night, well, at least on most days. I have not done anything challenging or adventerous and I am living life as it comes...

So, last month as on off thought I told G that probably, just possibly I could study for an exam just because I had a little time at hand. G told me that I should absolutely do it. What I did not realize at that time was that I would go crazy trying to pass the exam. I set the date for May 1st thinking that it would give me three weeks of solid preparation and I would be ready. Two weeks into studying I realized that I did not have all the study material I needed. A friend, MK gave me the books she had used to pass her exam. She gave me useful leads and I re-started studying because my original study material only covered about 40% of the exam.

So, now I started studying again afresh and started taking mock exams scoring only 50% or worse. I was scared. I kept telling G that I would flunk for sure. I did not want to tell anyone about it because I was sure I would flunk it. The last serious exam I took was GRE and that was more than ten years ago. I had not felt butterflies in my stomach since then for exams. I was freaking out and NO one except G knew about when I was taking the exam.

So I postponed the exam to May 18th because of my apprehension and prepared more aggressively. I did not want to fail. Which will mean I am not good any more. Which will mean that my daughter is being raised by a failure, so on and so forth. I was seriously freaking out. I studied during day and during night. I was in crappy moods a lot and snapped at G like it was nobody's business...

Then on May 10th, I told G, I was ready. I was ready to take the exam the very next day. So we logged on to Prometric website and rescheduled once again to May 15th. There was another reason why I wanted to be done with it. My friends were coming into town 15th night to spend the weekend with us. Those two days were going to be useless and I would not have studied anything and if at all, would have forgotten all that I had studied for. So I spent the next four days finessing my study materials and test prep and got prepped for the 15th.

And then I went for the exam. Finished it in 40 mins. Got to revisit my answers thrice and left the hall with a great score and a smile on my face wondering, "this is it? For this exam I studied so much? It was not tough at all." But I have to thank my friend MK again for giving me the most important study materials for the test and reference sites.

So now I am a LEED AP. Finaly some initials after my name :) And I feel so much better with my confidence returning to me. I feel good. I have not felt this good in a long time. This one is for you G and Babs for standing by me and adjusting to my awful moods...

I am still tired and exhausted from all the preparation and the fun filled weekend...

PS:
For LEED: www.intheleed.com and www.greenexamprep.com are very good resources. Use them :)

PS2: I am sure I have pissed off a few of my friends by not telling them about me taking the test. But people, you have to understand and if you are really my friend then you would celebrate me passing instead of brooding over me not telling you something that would not make any difference to your life anyway. I did not want to face the embarrassment of being a failure and hence chose to keep my decision to take the test a secret until of course I was on my way. Please be kind and nice and patient and loving to me...I need it :)

10 comments:

P said...

looks like congratulations are in order :)
btw was it a licensing exam?

P said...

and i was going o scrap u asking y u havent blogged in soo long! guess i hav my ans! :P

Sum said...

Wow Thats great! Studying something and passing an exam with a great score, esp with a little kid to look after :) Congrats!

BTW, i guess i too would have done the same as you did - not disclose it to anyone, because of fear of facing embarrassment in case of failure! I don't see anything wrong in it either.... So chill out...

pujathakur said...

Congratulations on passing the exam!!

And you are so right about the pregnancy/baby not being the end of our own lives.. I understood this basic fact some time back, albeit through the hard way.. and so even I am on my way to realize some of the dreams I had nurtured...

This is my first visit to your blog.. A nice one :-)

Prasanthi Neeladaran said...

Hi Anu! Congrats!!!!! Great going...keep up the awesome job:)

TC

Prasanthi

Anu Russell said...

Thanks P, ya did not have time to blog...i wud take breaks to browse but did not want to spend time typing up something :)

Thanks Sum, I know but apparently not everyone thinks like us :(

Puja, hai na...i think it takes some time to realize that. I love Babs a lot but at the same time I don't want to forget me...

PN, thanks hon :) I am going to take a break for sometime :)

Megha Bansal said...

congratulation anu!
told u already how proud i am of u! u did great.
i always knew u were taking the exam on the 15th ;)
hehe..good job! babs will always look up to u :)

Trevor Penn said...

Awesome. *pat on the back*

Brownies are in order for G and Babs... :-)

I'll tip one extra this weekend to celebrate your score. LOL!

Anu Russell said...

@ Megha...thanks hon...sorry i could not tell u when I was going to take the exam :) but i loved the way you attempted to try adn get it out from me...

@ Trevor??/ Just one dude? Tip in more than two at least...I should also probably get drunk. Thanks :)

Suchi said...

Hey Anu,

Congrats!! Great job!

No wonder the blog scene was silent :) I used to be like you - keep things secret...of late I have become a blabber mouth...hehe. So I know where you are coming from.

Celebrate and have fun!