Thursday, May 22, 2008

Regrets!

There are many things I would have done different had I know any better...it has always been about hindsight 20-20...and I am being specific to my baby (ya in my life too...but that will be a whole another book not a post in a blog...).

I was going through some pics that we had taken of Sanjana in the last week of April while we were at our friends house and we had some other friends visiting...and everyone knew about the legendary frown on my daughter's face. Everyone made fun about how she never smiles or laughs and Girish and I cannot but agree to it...

Only a day later did we realize that was daughter was suffering from severe urinary tract infection for a whole week and also going through the "fifth disease" (ya there is a disease called this)...We did not know about either until the following Monday. Looking at those photos I regret that I was also making fun of how Sanjana never smiles...well how can she?

From the time she was three and half months old she had 6 ear infection, has been on antibiotics constantly and till date has had 8 antibiotics, steroids and a minor surgery...more than what I have taken my entire life...I never took her out of the house for two months and she was scared of strangers...now how could I realistically expect her to be in the "yo wassup" mood?

She is still not used to strangers and her giggles and laughter are a pleasure which she reveals only to her mom and dad...but had I known that she was sick and had been sick for an entire week I probably would have taken her to the doctor...she could not speak and I misunderstood her cries to be hunger and not pain...I did not know any better...and those photos make me regret for doing what I did and wondering why is my daughter cranky...

Yes I deeply regret it and sorry Sanjana...I will try to watch out more for you.

Love
Mom

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dont worry friend. She will definitely grow up to be a very healthy wonderful beautiful baby girl. You take it easy.
Cheers, VPrabhu

Trevor Penn said...

You learn from your experience and you are wiser that way...

Kavita said...

Dear Anu,

yesterday I heard a poem in hindi . It was written by my friend's father at the birth of her son. I cant do full justice to that poem here, but i will try to. He described the baby as a "ankur" or sporut..that took a while to come out.. and then peeped out from the hard ground.. opened its little leaves and looked around without knowing who or what was around.. inspite of being in front of them all the time there was no way to know what the baby actually thought and dreamt. But then after some time, he starts looking around for faces and voices.

and thats just where your baby gets her comfort from.

So regrets.. dont have any and keep cherishing all these experiences

take care !
kavita

velu said...

hi anu
it was touching reading ur post. i got reminded of the time when my very hard nosed father cried the day i had injured myself while playing cricket even though i was all of 15 years old..... i dont remember the wound now but i remember the love concern and affection my father showed ..... i am sure you daugther too would appreciate you love when she looks back ....... you dont know me ... you had commented in my blog really long back .... i had logged in after years to try post something thought of replying to your comment when i ran into your post.....

swathi said...

I just chanced on your blog, don't regret all new moms learn with their baby. I know its hard but things will get better. I have a little one too, I know what you are going through,how people judge you, and try to guide you. My son is a toddler now and still falls sick but sending him to school is one of the best things I have done, although I would never say that a year ago :)

Anu Russell said...

hey Velu

Thank you so much for writing back...I hope that I can raise a loving daughter and not someone who grows up angry. Girish and I are trying our best...and hopefully my daughter also will look back at all the things we changed in ourselves to raise her right...

Thanks Vprabhu...appreciate it...

Very true Shank...but I hope I dont keep making new mistakes to learn from :)

Kavita, that is beautiful...thank you so much...I hope we do all the right htings...