I read everywhere and the hottest topic in town seems to be "if our parents should decide our future for us?" I think about it from different angles and then the only angle that seems right to me is the angle that I was raised up in...and I think I am glad that my parents helped me decide what I should do. I am glad that my mother pushed me to study hard and harder when I was whiling away time. If she had not done that then I might not have been there...
For self-motivated kids it is a different case but for the likes of me who needed a slight nudge I think my parents did the best. I wanted to do arts degree while my parents wanted me to do professional and we landed at a middle point and I landed up doing architecture. Not bad eh?
Am I happy with what I am doing? I am not sure...but would I have been happy had I chosen my future? I am not sure about that either. So I think as of now I am glad that I have a job and a life that is full with a great husband and a wonderful baby and I am grateful for that.
Now I have a little kid, and I wonder what is going to happen to her in the next few years when she will be at the same place where I was thirteen years ago. Same decisions...boys, life, education, future, etc...and am I just going to stand back and wait for her to do what she thinks is right? or subtly help her through the confusions. Teen age can definitely be stressful as well as confusing and some help from me and my hubby will certainly not put a damper on her future or life plans...
No parent (most of them) will ever try to sabotage the future of their children. If they do then you are one of the few unlucky...but otherwise it is not a bad to listen to them and see what they have to say and have a dialogue with them. Hopefully they are not headstrong and will actually understand where you are coming from. Times have changed so much and today parents are also adapting fast so children really do not have many things to worry about acceptance from their parents. I can say this for sure because our parents agreed to our intercaste marriage without any tensions...
And to my parents I want to assure them that they raised three wonderful kids and giving us the little push and a little pull here and there when we rightfully needed it without overdoing it certainly has helped shape our future better :) Thanks.
4 comments:
I had a daughter 4 months ago and I went through this exact same progression of thoughts as you did. Funny -- I used to think of myself as some kind of rebel-with-a-cause for questioning everything my parents ever suggested. 4 months of tending to my daughter has convinced me I am never gonna be able to take back any of those crapshoots I had mouthed back when I was young.
Strange.. I commented for the first time on your blog but for some reason "Send follow-up comments to my gmail account" shows up only from the second comment onwards. Whats up with that?
P.S: I am a former Dallas native, tamilian, chennaite and a rabid Dallas Cowboys fan!
Dilip,
ya having a daughter puts things in perspective for us...
There is no way i am going to sit behind and let my daughter ruin her life in front of my own eyes...and say that I gave her all freedom and look how she misused it.
Definitely I am going to be proactive at the same time making sure that I support what she wants to do.
GO COWBOYS! but i am a bigger MAVS fan!
The Jason Kidd trade hasn't worked out so well for Mavs. My wife is a rabid fan of Mavs and with Nowitzki out for 2 weeks she is starting to get the jitters of yet another disappointing season. Avery Johnson and Cuban are already feuding. This doesn't look like the sign of a healthy franchise. Look at NO Hornets on the other hand -- well oiled machine. Devin Harris is lighting up stats after joining the Nets.
I don't know.. I sense another heartbreaker :-(
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