Night 1 of Me and Myself!

Edit to add - this post is two years old...It was lying uncared for in the Drafts and I had fun reading it. So, decided to post it.

I dropped off my wards...G and S and came back home talking on the phone...I opened the front door and as I turned around to shut it, I noticed some overhead action...it was buzzing! There was a live wasp nest. Crap! I shut the door fast and took a few minutes to think WWGD (What would G do?). I went to the laundry room and looked, it was not there...then rushed to the garage, it was sitting there...the wasp nest killer spray. I grabbed it and walked inside the house. Read instructions and got armed. A quick call with G confirmed that I should wait for twilight. I walked out through the backdoor, watered the plants and then got out through the side yard gate and went to gym. I got back home and it was still bright as crazy. I did not want to wait till dark as I would have to use the side yard gate again. So I stood by the door, a few feet away and sprayed. The bees/wasp chased me...I ran to the car and hid behind it. Then I ran back and sprayed once more at the nest that was not very busy now and my can was empty. I went and parked in the garage and got inside the house to cook myself a meal. I was so tempted to go check at the door but good sense prevailed over my curiosity.

Yummy, red hot potatoes were cooked and puliyogare rice was made with left over rice. I ate it all up watching the first 10 minutes of Rangasthalam. I cleaned the house, moved things out of the way, worked for a bit and then moved to the bedroom. Showered, lied down and caught up on my K-Drama. Finished My Princess for a second time and started a new one. Then saw a few more minutes of Rangasthalam and decided to call it a night. I kept night lights throughout the lower floor so that I could step out and not be freaked out by darkness. Not sure it worked because I slept most of the night. I was awoken twice but did not stay up long enough.

Survived Night #1. Was a wasp/bee nest killer. Confirmed that the nest was indeed killed and headed to work! Overall so far it has been decent.

Lonely ART

2018 - Recap

I always enjoy writing a re-cap of the year that was. It takes me through the travails of the days gone and helps set realistic goals for what I want to do this year. But I slacked. I took a really long break from writing. Not that I did not have much to write or the time but lacked energy or the enthusiasm to do so. I know this is more of a whiteboard for me and my thoughts and memories that hopefully my daughter will find entertaining enough to read about in the future. So keeping with the tradition, though a month late, here is a quick recap :)

January: December 2017 ended with G and taking a look at ourselves. We did not look healthy or fit. We did not like our reflection, this is not what we wanted to become, old and unfit. Growing old is not a choice but being fit is. I hope I come back to this statement in the future if I get back to being unfit again. So, we took it upon ourselves to start living a healthier life. We had to make some adjustments, not a lot of dieting though. We still ate the same but added a workout routine. We started to bike.

Biking - Start of the Year

February: I got one of those calls that you dread about - mom is sick - please come. I rushed to NC the very next morning (thanks to my friend RR who got me a seat on a flight) and spent a few days.  Mom seemed to be recovering, so I got home.

March: A night in a camp that we had evacuate because of rain. Celebrated Holi with friends. A hike in the hills of south Dallas. Another trip to meet family in NC again, this time mom was doing much better.

It was also the month I turned 40. My daughter, niece and nephew were the first ones to welcome my 40's. They surprised me with cake, decorations and lots of fun. Then of course, G threw a huge party for me along with my friends and it was a super fun night!

Turning 40 is not so bad...nothing really changes drastically overnight. The only difference is that I have slowed down. I like to go to bed by 10 on Friday nights. My wild nights now end by 11 and if they last past that, I am extremely tired. I am enjoying it though, I feel well rested and energetic that I can run 5 miles and bike 10 miles all in one day.

Happy Birthday to Me!

April: There was more biking. The distances were growing and the time spent on trails were longer and we were thoroughly enjoying it. It was a relatively quite month in terms of activity. We were winding down towards end of school year.

More Biking...weather getting better - shorter sleeves

May: S had her annual Dance recital show. It was exciting for us also, the dress rehearsals and the practices. School ended and S was the happiest. She had the whole summer planned out. Another trip to NC for mother. She was sick again and this time we had to make some really tough decisions. I had to rush to NC from my fun work trip in Nashville. I was so sad to have been having a great time.

June: G and S left on their EU trip. They spent a couple of days in London before heading to Paris. S spent the whole of June and part of July on her own with her uncle's family. I spent a couple of fun weekends with friends. I went with R to Legacy West and had a great evening and then had a girls night out with M and A - an evening to remember. I also went to Sallu show with friends and relaxed and chilled the rest of my alone time.

July: G was back and we had 2 weeks to ourselves. What did we do? We biked. We did 30 miles...in our crappy cheap bikes. It felt like we could run faster on some days.

Then I left to Paris to pick S up. We went up to Italy for P's wedding and spent three days with my brother and his family walking around Pompeii and Rome. It was so relaxing.

G joined us in Iceland where we spent 5 days hiking up all the waterfalls in the south of the island. One beautiful trip with great stories and memories. The photos show how much coffee I drank and bits and pieces from all our trips

I got so sick after this ride. It was 115 deg's on this day and we did 25 miles

Coffee in a Cafe in Paris

Coffee in Italy

Coffee in Paris

Crepe in a Creperie in Paris

Kid like joy enjoying nature in Iceland

G and S trying to fill water from a waterfall - Iceland

August: We were back in the States and ready for new school year. It was still hot in Texas so we biked some more. S tied Rakhi to A again this year...that is 3 years in a row. They are growing up together so well now that it is cute.

More Biking - different trails, different days

September: A trip to Houston - lots of gluttony, boating, walking, playing tennis. More biking and relaxing as the cold starts to come in.

Getting colder - it rained right after we took this pic - fun experience

October: It was S's 11th. We had a great time celebrating her but unfortunately I had to rush to my family once again and could not celebrate G turning a year older. It was a stressful week for me. I did get to meet with S in NY when I went there for work. His twins were the best thing that happened to me in a while. We had a great time. I actually got to eat in a real Korean restaurant in NYC. It was amazing. I enjoyed the company and the food and it was exactly like I had imagined it would be....Daebak!

Samwon in NYC - the best Korean Bap! They even had the right kind of silver!

November: BIL came down with his family. S went back with him to Houston and we got to spend Thanksgiving with them. It was pretty much relaxing and cold. Visited a brewery and had a full pint of beer for the first time. I took three hours to down it but it is still not my favorite. Though I see the advantage of drinking beer over other things...not looking forward to a beer belly so beer is still unpopular with me. And of course the most memorable Diwali party that we will remember for a life time! Oh! and the cold trip to Iowa for work.

December: Was a travel month. Visited Chicago, KC, NC, and Santo Domingo. Each of them memorable in their own way.

Chicago: I missed my family as I was in downtown without them. I enjoyed my walk to Millennium Park. I enjoyed hanging out with work friends and it was a fun trip.

KC: A day trip. Tiring but still got a lot accomplished.

NC: Family trip. S went to Savannah with my brother's family and I got 4 full days alone with my parents. It was the best part of the entire year. I was a little kid but the roles were reversed where I was taking care of them.

SD: The best freaking trip. We had the best AirBnb house - the house itself was basic but we hired a cook - Maribel. She was godsent. She cooked the best food, hooked us up with rental car, sent us to private beaches and was just an awesome human being. The trip itself was great, made some great memories, learnt a lot of new things, ate some real authentic DR food and spent a lot of time relaxing.

Seeing myself in the reflection - a lonely walk

Santo Domingo - Very fun history walk

December 31st night: We were driving from Houston to Dallas and made it home just a few minutes past mid-night. I hope this year is filled with a lot more travel. There is a whole lot of world left to see.

Countries Visited this year:

France

Italy

Iceland

Santo Domingo

Cities visited this year:

Kansas City, MO

Des Moines, IA

Greenville, NC

New York, NY

Chicago, IL

Austin, TX

Houston, TX

Nashville, TN

Biked more than 1000 miles, walked more than that. It was a great year where collectively G and I lost a whole another mini human in terms of weight. We hope to keep it down and never go back to where we were before.

I hope I will get to blog more this year if not, I will at the very least keep the yearly recap going. 

Traveling ART

Mental Wanderer!

The last few months have been a roller coaster - of emotions, of lives, of my world as I know it. I was forced to look inside and see that I was not what I thought I always was. I almost entertained a thought that I never thought I would in my life. I was chastised for something that should not have been and I my many apologies seemed to fall in deaf ears. I looked around and saw smiling faces and I felt guilt every time I wanted to laugh. I went on a party wagon but could not let loose to enjoy the ride. Every meal I ate made me feel bad, every word I said made me look inside. I looked at others and felt a pang of jealousy wondering how nice it would be to live life without being me. Yet through all these times I was grateful. I was grateful because I had things that others did not, like love and support, and things to love. I wonder if everyone go through life like this or similar in their life. Yet, I see that as we move on, get stronger, we do not stop to hold others' hands. Instead, we chug along racing towards the never-finding goal ignoring the one's whose lives are down in the dump like mine was a few days ago.

I hope to come out of these funky months very soon and when I do, I want to be stronger, look in the eyes of the perpetrators and tell them that "the shit they threw at me did pass but when it happens to them and if I am around I will extend my hands instead of shitting over them."

Mental wanderer is the state of my mind the last few days. I smile on the outside but the brain is looking around for something that is not touchable. I am hoping that the sun will rise and will shine on me and others going through similar things, it cannot be dark forever, it should not be dark forever. Keep reminding yourself that it is always "mind over matter."

Mental Wandering ART!

Savage and Wrecked!

When I was a little girl the words savage and wrecked meant something different. Er, they actually meant what they were supposed to mean. Today, there is a totally new meaning. Kid talks or rather teen talks. S is not close to being a teen but has a lot of teen influences - friends and cousins. So this is a typical conversation between me and her:

Her: I was standing in line and this guy tried to cut the line.
Me: *Disinterestest* hmm...
Her: Mom, so imagine (she brings in her hands to show how she was in line and the dude was trying to cut in).
Me: Hmm...Get to the point...
Her: I told him, dude you are cutting the line. And he asked me, "where is the line?"
Me: Hmm...
Her: This is the best part, Behind me coz that's where you are always going to be. Moves her hand like a whip...Boom. *Super Excited* He wanted to say something but my response was both savage and it wrecked him. Ha!
Me: Savage? Wrecked?
Her: School talk mom, you won't get it. Goodnight.

Another one with my kid nieces and nephew:

Niece: That is so Lit Bro.
Me: Sooo Lit.
Nephew: That is not the right usage.
Me: But she just said it.
Nephew: That was correct...but your was not.
Me: Why?
Daughter, Nieces and Nephew Together: Because....(They really wanted to shut me up).

Yet another learning experience (Courtesy Niece):

Niece: That is sooo Salty.
Me: Salty? Should it be sugary?
Niece: No atha (aunt), it's salty...as in burn with a little bit of sassy.
Me: Savage? Salty? Burn? Sassy...that I get.
Niece: Atha, you are so cute...
I used to tell that to her a couple of years ago...Role Reversal I am not ready for!

What I understand is that I should step aside and let the young 'uns take over my old world. All my salty burns and savaged wrecks were mostly in Tamil, a few in English and I am sure I thought that my family were old school too...but it is just so cute to annoy them by using these things wrong. They get so worked up and I find that super adorable and cute.

A Misty ART

Turning!

As we leaf through book of our own life, each page is filled with a new memory, a new friendship or relationship, a new story, a new memory of an old story, laughter, sadness, tears from joy and angst, smiles, successes and failures, etc. We age as we go through the book, old memories becomes experience, new memories are our identity and we mature, just like a bottle of old wine waiting to be enjoyed. That is me, now I can officially start checking a different box for age group. I have ranked up. Matured, older and (but none the) wiser. Unfortunately for me, I am still a little girl inside of a physically mature me. I am still afraid to be alone, sometimes lazy, very quirky, have not updated bad habits to good habits yet, can break into a dance in a second or cry over nothing. I am still me, the same me that was there a decade ago or 3 decades ago. Nevertheless, I am happy to step into a new decade, with hopes and excitement as anyone else and also not looking forward to biological slow down. I cannot imagine me not dancing for 3 straight hours of Indian music. I cannot imagine not being able to run 3 miles if I feel like it. I do not want to imagine me slowing down my pace in my walk, talk or anything but I know I have to look forward to that.

Age is nothing but a number...ahem! Easier said than done. I will tackle each battle as I get there and will share it with everyone to read. And while it lasts, I will try to have a blast in my new decade!

Happy Birthday to Me!
Birthdayed-out-ART

Nothingness...leads to a lot of BS

I had this window open for a while. Each topic I think of writing feels combative. This is not the only reason for the existence of the blog - to complain about people or their habits. I want it to be more of a place where my daughter can come back and read about her mom, her life, things I have not had a chance to share with her yet. But some days I feel like this is more of a rant space. A space where I can bitch about people with a veil. A vent space that all of us sometimes need. I am glad I have this venue, a place where I can secretly complain and hope that the person I am complaining about reads and gets the hint. It some how misses the mark almost all of the time though 😋

The weather outside is pretty cold and rainy, has been raining for two days straight, feels like I live in Seattle. The thing about rainy weather is that it is cozy, it should be enjoyed from within the sheets of your bedroom, with a hot cuppa chai and some hot pakoda that was cooked by someone other than you. A snuggle, some TV, a sippa chai would be perfect. But if you look at it from the window of your office, it is lonely, gloomy, and very depressing. If you have not seen the sun three days in a row, it can get boring too. And this is Texas weather we are talking about, a lot of rain almost always equals with hail, tornadoes, or just high speed winds, so we are on the constant look out.

S and us have started to do fun stuff on the weekends. Things that she enjoys with us. One weekend the two of us played badminton for almost an hour and had the best time doing so. One weekend G brought her biking to visit me at the gym while I was trying to fake work out. It was such a pleasant surprise to see them both all happy and smiles. She biked 4 miles that day. She also ran with me, or rather ahead of me 3 miles once. We are trying to do random physical activity with her to keep her fit while she is going through so many down days at tennis due to the weather outside. She loves her tennis, she loves it enough to want to play it for fun. She is not much into competition, she tells me that she just does not feel it in her to compete in sports. She enjoys hitting with us and her coach but that is it. I am happy that she has a good knack at raquet sports. She picked up badminton in 3 minutes of trying to figure out what to hit and where.

Oh well! I had nothing to write and then a lot of something to say. There is a lot more stuff where this came from and hopefully I will be able to pull them out one at a time!

Pensive ART

Round Up!

Of course it is a wrap! 2017 is closing down and 2018 is gearing up for a start.

I stopped believing that things really change in the new year. I do not believe that an entire year sucked or rocked because of one incident. What is a year but a marker to keep life feeling immeasurable...and yet, I do these posts every year.

2017 seems to be the year I blogged the least. I guess I was busy at home and at work to spend a few minutes on my blog. I will try to fix that in 2018. I am getting older and wiser.

Things we did this year:

•   S ran her first 5K with me. We joined a running group and she ran-walked the whole thing. It was super fun.

• Enjoyed Holi with friends at the temple with friends! It was crazy!

• We threw a fun Harry Potter Themed Baby Shower for our dear friend A.

• We camped in OK by one of the most windiest lakes ever. Our tent almost flew with us in it. It was an adventure and we loved it!

• S had her second Bharatanatyam recital. She did amazing and so did her entire class. Parents visited and spent two months with us. It was amazing!

• Summer was filled with pool fun. Friends and family alike...S enjoyed.

   

• Z visited us alone! She is a big girl now and we had a great week with her.
• G's family visited us in summer! We went to Destin with them!

        

• The Solar Eclipse of 2017! Where we rocked the solar glasses! 

• And then, off we went to Niagara!

• S got her bangs hairstyle that she wanted for the longest time. She was super excited!
• Dandiya with friends - twice! It was super fun! I am looking forward to it again this year!
• S and G had multiple birthday celebrations! Lots of cake, lots of friends, I wish we could do this all over again ever year! Love the friend-family.

     

• Started biking this year with G. We have had some fun and adventurous rides exploring our neighborhood! See the turtle we hung out with at Interlaken in Plano.

• S turned double digit! so we had a fun birthday planned! A slime party and sleepover with a handful of girls! 

       

• S did her first Bollywood dance with a new friend that she enjoyed hanging out with!

• And then we left for our world tour! 
• Germany
• Visited Schloss Alsbach
• Dinner at Heidelberg - double date sans kids
• Drive to Neushwanstein - met with M & B there!
• Eat - the yummiest veggie paella in the world!

      

• India
• Taj Mahal
• Wedding fun @ Kurukshetra
• Eating @ Delhi
• Pune - Enjoying with J and family - Karla Caves
• Mumbai - Spending time with M, A and R. It was a treat! 
• Visited the India office of my company.
• Mangalore - Reception fun.
• Beach trip
• Village visit
• Bangalore - 
• Bino, Thameem
• SP's family
• Hareesh, Seenu
• Eating and dancing - S's first dance floor experience.
• Spending time getting pampered with friends and family and Lakme alike!

      

            

• France:
• Paris
• St. Gervais Les Bains
• S and G's first ski experience. They loved it! 
• We had to trek down from our chalet to buy oil, wine and bread! The trek was in 4' of freshly fallen slow. We had no roads or trails that we could see. I fell a few times before we reached St. Gervais! It was an experience. Spectacular views...Alps!

         

• Started the trip in Alps and ended it there! How fun!
• Came back feeling empty and luckily had friends to cheer us during the X-Mas break!

      

Now we look ahead to the next year and hopefully it is not rocky and is smooth sailing!

Happy New Year to everyone! Cheers and have a great one! From ours to yours...

A New Year ART

Oye Teri!

I have seen it in my niece and nephew. I have seen it with my friend's children. I am seeing it in adults, in people of all ages and sizes. We are obsessed with our mobile phones, making memories while letting memories slip away.

I was at my daughter's school's holiday party where kids were performing. More parents' were keen on recording the video and taking pics than actually watching the show. It was annoying for those few who were actually there to enjoy the show. We had to see a bunch of raised hands and bright screens.

On the same note, when we now meet, as a family or group of friends, kids are sitting down with their cellphones and hardly paying attention to their family. My daughter likes to spend 10 minutes with kids around and then politely asks for wifi password before disappearing into the room watching her show. I have tried to get her out but she always claims some inadequacy and escapes.

My niece comes all the way to Dallas and guess what she does? I fly all the way to meet family in India and guess what they do? I invited a few friends over for S's birthday and guess what the older kids did? It is a frustrating series. I had to get rude and have the phones confiscated so they would spend time together.

On our trip to India this time, we realized that internet was a luxury. Everyone we knew had switched over to GIO which is like a wifi stick that barely has any strong signals to play netflix. This made S get out and socialize. She tried hard to watch and gave up. She sat between us, she got to know her cousins better, her family better and she actually enjoyed the trip for what it was and not for a memory of watching netflix in different countries and cities. It was such a welcome change. At the end of the trip she came up to me and said mom, "this has been the longest I have gone without TV," and I happily agreed. S finally understood that there is a life beyond Netflix when we travel.

India is always teaching lessons...this time it was for S, a valuable lesson.

I really wish we would put down our phones, meet people vis-a-vis and read emotional cues, feel the pulse of being together rather than exist in whatsapp groups wishing only for birthdays! It is good to be in touch on the web but it matters more to be present with the people you are with. Photos of feet and fish faces can wait but I might not...

Hope y'all had a very merry X-Mas.

Fishy-Facey ARTY from the French Alps!

Shed!

All other kids posed for their parents in front of the school sign, in the parking lot, at the door to the school, in their classroom, everywhere. Mine, well, did not. She refused to smile for the camera and kept looking away every time I begged her for a pose. I was that miserable parent you see running around with her phone ready to snap a shot and missing completely. G stood smirking at my "typical" mom behavior. Both him and S laughed at me while I was not looking. Oh! Well!

As I was about to head out I saw another parent, S's friend's mom, standing teary eyed at the door to their classroom. She was gushing to another mom saying how the kid has grown up and she was not ready for this. I literally touched my cheeks...nothing...no moisture. "Bad Mom" moment...I looked around and saw several other moms doing the same thing...shedding tears...and me...dry like a desert.

I walked away wondering why I did not feel these emotions. I was sad to see her start her next grade but not really sad to see her grow up. As long as she is growing up positively and healthily, who am I to complain? I justified it in my head and walked to the car. I still could not get over it.

I kept mulling about it over and over in my head, am I a bad mom because I did not feel any sadness enough to cry? I thought about it hard and realized that I have never cried at good bye's. The one time I was close to crying was when I left my parents house after a really wonderful summer break. I did not cry during my kinder drop off, or when I left my home country to come to another country. It dawned on me that I lack the emotion and just like me so did G. The image of S shooing me away and going to her desk begging me not to embarrass her came to my head. She sat down at her assigned spot and never once looked back. This was her, from kinder to now...just like mom and dad...she was one of us, the kind that does not look back after saying bye.

Thanks for reading!
A-non-Shedding ART