Oop!

Ya...just Oop!...don's ask me why...it is that kind of a day today...

The past three days I have been going into the coughing bout...where I cough for 15 minutes and the rest of the day passes by like I never coughed...so far had been happening only at work during day...specially after boss sir asks me a question. He assures me that I will live and that I should let it the cough wind its way down...

But last night...oh it was a different story. I coughed. I coughed and I coughed and I really thought the roof will come down...thankfully it did not...I took NyQuil at 11 to save me some chest pain. I was watching TV and suddenly felt my eyes get heavy, I laid down in the sofa, then a small voice said, "go and sleep on the bed, else you will remain here till morning." I pulled myself up, set up the night stand with water, took contacts off, and set up Babs morning stuff and snuck into bed forever...er...until 6.15am. I was already late by 15 minutes.

I sat in the car with a muffin, telling myself that eating a muffin will make me wake up. I think it made me fat and not awake. I really have no recollection how I got to work. I sat in the parking and took a ten minute nap and got up to work with sticky muffin hands.

G did a "I told you not to take NyQuil so late in the night," song. I sneered at him over the phone. He reminded me, "Coffee!" I said, "yes, going right now, Aja Aja, Fighting."

I sat back in my chair...wondering, "shit, still so sleepy." Cough, Cough, Cough, and it continues....

Love
Coughing ART

Press the Post Button Already!

I have three posts written and waiting to be published...sensitive touchy topics...so I being me decided to let it rot in the box. One of these days they will come out and live to tell a story...literally...

Anyways, life is moving so fast right now that the only way for me to keep track of what went past me is through my blog and that seems pretty empty to me,which means that at the end of the year...there will be no end of the year post...which means blah.

Babs is now in "big school." I don't know how that happened but what seemed to be a big deal fizzled out. I thought I would be the mom that would cry buckets, and the mom that would worry about every random thing. I surprised myself. I bought her supplies the day before school. I dropped her off, got a bit moisty eyes en route but when we got there I was just excited by the whole drama of School. Babs got to her class, waved at her friend and found her name and sat down in her chair. She quickly picked up the piece of paper and crayons and started to sketch something. I tried to take pics with her, she obliged but shooed me away when I kept trying to get the perfect pic. I said bye three times to her, the third time was when I stood at the door, she was busy sketching with her back to me, she waved me away without even turning back to look at me. Good sign.

In other news, we have realized that our home is a living thing just like us...needs love, attention (more than I ever fathomed), care, gentle loving whispers, etc...or things literally die on you...like the grass in our front yard, or the red oak tree...which for the record I am trying to revive. We are also spending a fortune to get our pool flag stone re-laid, so no one standing around the pool fall inside involuntarily, and we bought our own lawn mower...so G is busy one evening every week, while Babs and I stand and supervise. I help with the trimmer but the mower is way too powerful for me to operate.

Oh! and yes! the Ping-Pong table...if you know me, you know that I love racket games...Tennis, Baddie, TT. I grew up with those...I used to play a lot when I was in Trichy and then when I moved to Chennai, I lost touch with all of them. Fortunately when we moved into our apartment during the last three years of college, we had TT in our basement. I again spent hours playing and eventually played for my college. I made some amazing friends and we traveled together making memories...So when our table arrived, all I could think was my friends and the stories...of course G and I spend at least 20 minutes a day playing and Babs and I play for about 10 every day. She is getting better each day...Loving the new memories we are making with the table.

Body image issues...a new thing I keep hearing again and again from parents. I hear it from parents who use excessive make up...they do not want their kids to have that particular issue...really? So you have the problem, that is alright, but your kid should want to go au-natural and feel comfy in her skin? lol, you guys crack me up. I want to write a post about this soon...so keep watching here...

And of course, the media room...G got me into watching Super Hero movies...seen Hulk, Spidey, and IronMan...in love with Iron Man...omg! Seeing that movie gave me the same rush I get when I see Rajni movie...so much fun! Felt like a little kid all over again.

And Babs, you are all so grown up when you beg to be dropped off at school door after the first day, you are already embarrassed of your parents...brilliant...you say the cutest things and it is always so nice to see you in the evening all smiles and happy. Your dad spoils you by letting you eat ice cream every evening after he gets you...oh...I could go on...well separate post of the fun stuff you have done in the past few weeks...

Love
ART

And then it was done...

When babies are small, they need you so much. So much that sometimes you want a break from being their mother, their caregiver, their one true need. After all the stress of work and baby, you are often wondering, when will my baby start doing things on her own...well...apparently now for my Babs girl!

By the time she was two she was off diapers, thanks to Pinky, her baby sitter. She started to eat on her own before she turned three and by the time she was four, eating out was not a challenge any more. She started to choose and wear her clothes, get her hair done and sometimes even make up done before she turned five. A few things left for me or G to do were her bath...this was a major ticket item, one that G and I fought over when we were tired...

This past Saturday a friend was coming home and our home was a mess. I was trying to clean up and G was helping me. Babs after playing outside was a mess and desperately needed a shower. G took her in, turned the tap on at the right temperature and told her to call him when she was soaked enough to get her lathered up...and completely forgot about it. Fifteen minutes later when I asked him if he had helped Babs finish her bath he stared blankly at me. Both of us rushed to our room to find a clean Babs, neatly dressed and doing her hair. "Now what else is there for us to do?" we both wondered.

It is true that every time your baby weans off a dependency a new one comes up. They are never going to not need you, at least that is the hope. I think I would be an emotional wreck if my girl told me that she was done needing me...But at the same time you make me proud every time you take on a new challenge.

Love
Your Amma

PS: Babs, you were showering the other day and you had secretly used your Papa's soap. When I wanted to cream you up, you begged me not to do that. I asked you why and you said, "I like the smell of Papa's soap, it reminds me of him, please do not take it away with the cream smell."

PPS: You sang for the first time on a mike at a karoke party! Now I am officially ready to go to a Karoke Bar with you...cannot wait!

7 Years!

During my first eleven years in Trichy I moved three times. When we moved to Chennai, we moved four times. That is times in eleven years until we finally settled down. And then I should remember my internship in Bangalore too. Then it was time for me to move to US. In the last thirteen years, I have changed cities, five times and houses five times too. I have pretty much been on the move making memories at every single place as I flit between homes. I really wonder how much fun it would have been if we had an ancestral home where we would have lived all our life and could also go back to it during vacation. I am jealous of all the people who have this opportunity. Then again, this moving is what makes me, well, me! 

Over the years, I have developed this detached attachment to places. I know I will leave them one day and hopefully move to better life and opportunities. When I came to America from Chennai, I carried, like all others, two suitcases of important things and tons of memories. That single experience changed me. Now I am a hogger for anything and everything that means memory-making. I have unopened boxes labeled as "Trinkets."

So anyhow, now after seven years we moved last week. The past seven years, have been the longest stint for us in one single home. And surprisingly the same holds good for the husband. We are nomads! We hate the change and we did not want to move out of the condo, until now. We are literally being forced to move for the sake of the daughter. Babs has to go to school and for that we had to move to a neighborhood with a good school district. So here we are, in our own home finally. We had tried to look for homes in the past but each time we were ready to close we backed out. We liked the comfort, the static life, the ease of lifestyle that our Condo provided. We were not ready to take on the adventure of being home owners until we had no choice.

Finally, we moved in. Into our very own nest. The feeling is different and I can compare it to having a baby. The home needs attention, love, caring, nurturing, just like a baby. Sometimes even more attention than a baby. We are constantly thinking of things to do, things that need to be done, or this and that and all about the house. Not that Babs has taken a back seat, that will never happen but that house is a close second now.  

Honestly, it is tiring, back breaking, never ending...but at the end of the day, with wine in one hand and feet up, sitting by the pool with friends, letting the pleasant July air waft by...it's all worth it!

Love

ART

PS: Surprisingly beautiful July Dallas is enjoying this year. 

Bubbliest Babs!

Yesterday the two of us were cuddling close to each other trying to take a nap. You wanted to wiggle away and I held you close saying, "in a couple of years you wont come close to me, so just stay put." Your eyes teared up, you turned and looked at my face and said, "amma don't say such things and make me sad."

I reminded you that," this is a part of growing up Babs, it is what I did and what everyone has done. Nothing wrong with it," I tried to rationalize. You being all of five asserted, "amma, I will never stop cuddling with you, if you say such things, I am going to get really sad and cry."

"I promise, I wont say such things again," I assured her and held her close by scared that in a few years you will be embarrassed to hug me, give me a kiss on the cheek, or hold hands with me like you do every time we go for a walk. Which by the way I love, our walks. Our evening mile long walks when we do multiplication tables, sing songs, say stories, talk nonsense, fight, and you get tired when I drop you off home with Dad. I love those.

I love the way you experiment walking on your own a few steps and then hurry coming back to hold my hands. I love the tiny fingers and big talks. I felt bad when you cried after seeing a dead squirrel on the road. Then I loved the story to made up to make it a happy ending for the squirrel, the enthusiasm with which you shared the story with your dad and pointing the exact location where we found him when we drive by each time.

You are so grown up...well...most of the time. And then again you are a little baby, our baby. We fight everyday when you eat slowly, as if each bite should and has to take 3 minutes at least. We fight when you start bargaining TV time for doing even the simplest thing. I love that you know how to strike a deal. We fight when you start doing something and loose focus on it. We fight when you go to a class and spend more time chatting than actually working. But at the end of the day after you have slept, when me and your dad look at your face, we are in awe of everything that you. All the energy, ideas, ideals, laziness, and most importantly the love your being holds, how you define us and how we define ourselves because you. I love you my Babs!

Love
ART