Night 1 of Me and Myself!

Edit to add - this post is two years old...It was lying uncared for in the Drafts and I had fun reading it. So, decided to post it.

I dropped off my wards...G and S and came back home talking on the phone...I opened the front door and as I turned around to shut it, I noticed some overhead action...it was buzzing! There was a live wasp nest. Crap! I shut the door fast and took a few minutes to think WWGD (What would G do?). I went to the laundry room and looked, it was not there...then rushed to the garage, it was sitting there...the wasp nest killer spray. I grabbed it and walked inside the house. Read instructions and got armed. A quick call with G confirmed that I should wait for twilight. I walked out through the backdoor, watered the plants and then got out through the side yard gate and went to gym. I got back home and it was still bright as crazy. I did not want to wait till dark as I would have to use the side yard gate again. So I stood by the door, a few feet away and sprayed. The bees/wasp chased me...I ran to the car and hid behind it. Then I ran back and sprayed once more at the nest that was not very busy now and my can was empty. I went and parked in the garage and got inside the house to cook myself a meal. I was so tempted to go check at the door but good sense prevailed over my curiosity.

Yummy, red hot potatoes were cooked and puliyogare rice was made with left over rice. I ate it all up watching the first 10 minutes of Rangasthalam. I cleaned the house, moved things out of the way, worked for a bit and then moved to the bedroom. Showered, lied down and caught up on my K-Drama. Finished My Princess for a second time and started a new one. Then saw a few more minutes of Rangasthalam and decided to call it a night. I kept night lights throughout the lower floor so that I could step out and not be freaked out by darkness. Not sure it worked because I slept most of the night. I was awoken twice but did not stay up long enough.

Survived Night #1. Was a wasp/bee nest killer. Confirmed that the nest was indeed killed and headed to work! Overall so far it has been decent.

Lonely ART

Another Year Slowly Crept By

I had no idea how fast time is moving. I was so busy with work, family, work, friends, work that I completely lost track of life. My life, my family life. I feel like 2015 was me running around asking everyone to adjust with me and my craziness. The worst hit were ofcourse G and Babs and my parents and of course me!

I invited my parents to spend a couple of months with us and I left them alone at home most of the time because I was working crazy hours. I spent very little time in the two months they were here. I could feel their soothing presence around me at all times. I chatted with them before bed and briefly in the morning. They were there but never once made me feel like I was ignoring them. I really had a good time with them though only in small spurts that when they left I was left crying for them. I missed them when I walked into the house in the evening. I missed them when I drove out in the morning to work and see dad taking a walk, or mom going on her evening walk when I was riding back home from work. I missed mom on Thursdays when I would rush home to take her to the temple...I simply and plainly miss them!

In between all the work madness there was Babs birthday. She turned 8 and she handled an absentee mom with patience. She allowed me to be a part of her simple plan for her birthday party that she put together all by herself. She chose 3 girl friends to spend the day of her birthday and have a sleepover with. It was all set, easy plan. I, on the other hand had only slept for 2 hours that day, I was in a high crank mode. I ran around trying to get the whole birthday set up last minute. The friends came and we cut cake, went bowling, ate dinner, then the sleepover. I was exhausted with just 2 hours of sleep under my belt and the kids were reluctant to sleep till it was 2am. I finally sat outside like a guard dog until they crashed. I felt horrible doing that but I needed sleep at some point. Sorry kiddos!!!

The next day the kids put up the most amazing show for us, with tickets, autograph signing and photos, and all that. It was amazing to see them grow up. Babs enjoyed it every bit while she also had to do some growing up and learn to share her friends. It was all good. We finished up and I still had some energy left on Sunday. I was glad that she had a long birthday celebration and I still kept my sanity. My friend's daughter told her mom that I was just like her, "strict." My friend told her daughter, "and that is why I send you to her house, and only her house." Made me feel so nice in spite of being called strict. One day these little ones will learn that it is called, "Being a Mother."

And through all this my parents patiently stayed in the background, helped out when needed and stayed away when they knew I was getting overloaded. While the kids were busy playing I spent an hour lying down next to my mother when she mentioned that this was the first time I had laid down with her in her entire stay. I felt so sad to get up and go from there...

Slowly but steadily another year has crept by, another Halloween with my Goddess Athena, and a couple of months with my parents. I am getting older too and I feel it in my bones and as much as I complain, I like the work and working. It is crazy but I like it! Oh Well! Eating the cake and having it too...never happens!

Love
Motherly ART

And then it was done...

When babies are small, they need you so much. So much that sometimes you want a break from being their mother, their caregiver, their one true need. After all the stress of work and baby, you are often wondering, when will my baby start doing things on her own...well...apparently now for my Babs girl!

By the time she was two she was off diapers, thanks to Pinky, her baby sitter. She started to eat on her own before she turned three and by the time she was four, eating out was not a challenge any more. She started to choose and wear her clothes, get her hair done and sometimes even make up done before she turned five. A few things left for me or G to do were her bath...this was a major ticket item, one that G and I fought over when we were tired...

This past Saturday a friend was coming home and our home was a mess. I was trying to clean up and G was helping me. Babs after playing outside was a mess and desperately needed a shower. G took her in, turned the tap on at the right temperature and told her to call him when she was soaked enough to get her lathered up...and completely forgot about it. Fifteen minutes later when I asked him if he had helped Babs finish her bath he stared blankly at me. Both of us rushed to our room to find a clean Babs, neatly dressed and doing her hair. "Now what else is there for us to do?" we both wondered.

It is true that every time your baby weans off a dependency a new one comes up. They are never going to not need you, at least that is the hope. I think I would be an emotional wreck if my girl told me that she was done needing me...But at the same time you make me proud every time you take on a new challenge.

Love
Your Amma

PS: Babs, you were showering the other day and you had secretly used your Papa's soap. When I wanted to cream you up, you begged me not to do that. I asked you why and you said, "I like the smell of Papa's soap, it reminds me of him, please do not take it away with the cream smell."

PPS: You sang for the first time on a mike at a karoke party! Now I am officially ready to go to a Karoke Bar with you...cannot wait!

No Appa only Naana

So I have this conversation with a lot of other Desi mom's who live in the Us with their little kids. All parents tell me that it is difficult to teach their kid their native tongue and though the child understands what we speak at home they do not want to respond back in that language. I have seen that too, in my brother's house. My neice Z, used to speak such good Telugu that it would put me to shame till she was about 2-1/2 but now at 8, she refuses to speak in Telugu and responds in English to questions asked in Telugu. And When I ask her why, she tells me, "that's how it has always been."

So when the kids go to school and learn to speak English with their fellow classmates they come home and start speaking in English at home too. Now, if parents put their foot down then they can stop their kids from speaking in English, but most parents do not, like my bro and SIL. But again I cannot comment on this right now because Babs is still too small and I will have the FOOT in my MOUTH... :) and will be scampering to delete this post :)

The reason I thought I should write about this is because, my family, a Telugu speaking nuclear family lived in Trichy in the heart of Tamilnadu. Our school had a strict "English only" at all times policy and "Hindi only" during Hindi class policy. Of course all of used to chatter away in Tamil when the teachers were not looking. 

When I used to get back home I would sometimes carry on in English and Tamil but my parents would put a stop to it. My dad once got angry with me for calling him Appa instead of Naana. I never repeated it ever again and that was the end of any Tamil speaking in the house. 

Not that my father cannot speak Tamil, he can read, write and even knows more than 150 Kurals by heart but he wanted us to know our mother tongue. Father knew that when we were not at home we speak in English or Tamil so he wanted us to remember our mother tongue too. It is not like my father did not know English, he did name all three of us after his favorite English authors...

So I wonder if I followed strict rules like he did maybe, just maybe Babs might want to speak in Telugu and Konkani and Hindi and English...now am I asking for too much? Really? My logic is, if Babs can speak Konkani then she should be able to speak in my mother tongue too. And if she can speak both then she should know Hindi too. And of course to survive in the world she should know English. She can definitely choose to learn French and German on top of it. I won't object that  :P

At this age when they know not about different languages Babs tells me, "Amma, Kucho, sit, bais" or "Amma, pettu, keep," or "Amma, yo, come," "amma, Nahana, Bath," or "Amma, taati, sleep."She mixes languages up but it is cute and she tells you the same thing in all three languages she knows. Now, I have learnt Konkani and G some Telugu...but I hope we do not forget the language that we grew up speaking because the little one grows up speaking only in English. Plus, speaking multiple language is only good for the child itself, research says. And I really hope knowing so many languages will help Babs out in the future...

hehehehe...hopefully she can speak at least one language decently...what good is it to have a jack of all trades and king of none?!!!

Once again, a confused amma...

ART

PS: Bharatanatyam, Kathak, Kuchipudi or Ballet for Babs?? Any suggestions?