Competitive

Competitive...The latest trend amongst people my age is to claim their virtues and be proud of it. I have literally heard people loudly and proudly say, "I am so competitive," or "I am type A personality," or "I hate to loose." Sure, I am always looking forward to my next loss!

I have an acquaintance who is proud of simple thing as cleaning the counter, well, because he is Type A personality and has self acclaimed to posses OCD. This is just insulting those who have been diagnosed with the disorder while all he does is clean the counters well.

Then there is this lady who walks around claiming that she is competitive in three out of five conversation I had with her. It was an immediate turn off. I understand that you are competitive but you do not have to competitively tell everyone about it. I feel that everyone is competitive about things they want and care about. I, for example, won't compete in a drinking game because I know I would loose on the second drink but that does not mean I am not competitive, just that I have better things to fight for.

When I thought this was an oddity I realized that this is more common than not. A few weeks ago two women quickly claimed that they were both aggressive about winning. One could hardly hold herself back while the other was claiming it that she rushed to chime, "me too." I saw them both and across their room and they turned into little kids fighting for the one last ice cream. I laughed so hard inside that I could barely contain it when I was talking to them later. Their stature became so small and cute that they were not imposing any more.

I hope that my daughter does not turn up to be them. That she can relax and compete in things that matter to her because that is what life is all about, fight for what you not and not what others want you to fight for. Do what you enjoy and you would never have to claim personality traits to fit in. Just because your strength turns out to be an achiever in one of those useless test does not mean that you will achieve everything in life or vice versa. It is ok, we all have one life to live, while live it being a "me too?"

A Zen ART

The Truth!

We never hear the truth from people. Period!

Not unless they trust you completely and you are the one person in the world to whom they will confess. So true in the world of Facebook and other social media. Everyone is having a gala time, at least that is what you think. Successful work life, great marriages, amazing family and the Best of all the Best things in the world. This is also so true in real life. You meet people, old friends and new alike, everyone presents their best self to you. You never know what the truth is, real happiness, faking a great work-life balance? Who knows.

I once had a chat with a mom and the discussion traversed into the sensitive talk about "working." I am always wary because I often times find myself defending the fact that I work post maternity. I find mother's who do not work defensive about their choice too. I feel that there is no need to defend. It is what it is, we choose what works best for us. To each his own. Yet this mom told me, "I have always wanted to go back to work but with two kids I barely have time. And my husband, he is so nice, he tells me not to go back to work, there is no need for it. I also do not know if I will get the right job as I have not worked in 8 years."

A week or so later I meet the husband sans wife. We start talking about work and exchange qualifications before he says, "I wish my wife worked. I have been asking her to go back now that both kids are in school and she refuses to give it a try. I am a strong believer that everyone should put their qualification to good use."

My jaw dropped. Oh well! I think it might help family to share notes before they step out 😋

A Grinning ART

Just Wondering...

Recently, someone in our neighborhood did something wrong...for example say, cutting lane while driving. It always frustrates me when people do that to me when I am driving. I sometimes honk, show them the finger, or abuse them, depending on my mood and that is that. I forget about it after a few minutes.

When I drive back home from work, there is this particular red light for a left turn which takes forever. The line is very long, extends all the way back into the highway sometimes. A lot of people try to take the right lane and then merge left closer to the light. This simple act delays the rest of us waiting in line patiently, very frustrating. I have let people cut in several times and in a few occasions have been the annoying person myself. My apologies. The point is, we all make mistakes while driving, some knowingly while most are just bad judgement. We have to give others the benefit of doubt because we have also been in similar situations.

Now imagine bad driving experience happening in your neighborhood, where you might bump into the person on a social occasion, or at school. So you cannot show the finger, or abuse, or honk, you have to politely let it slide, show restraint. With some people that does not happen. They took this person, the line cutter, to task. They posted it on Facebook, our community page, and not just that, there is a photo too, with license plate and all.

I put myself in that driver's position. There could be 1000 reasons why I could have chosen to do the bad deed, putting little school walking kids in danger. None of them could be justifiable. But what the Facebook poster do is single me out. She tried to say that I was the only offender of the sort in the world and she has never done anything close to it while driving. She chose to ridicule me at the cost of my privacy and my children's safety. She assumed that posting it there and having 40 other people abuse me, bash me and call me names are acceptable and did not stop to realize that she was bullying another mother who's kid might also be in the same school.

When I saw the post, I was so angry. I was so angry with the FB poster. I wondered how women in their effort to sound self-righteous can become callous. The poor lady was in tears, angry, embarrassed, and everything else. I am disappointed to see my neighbors behave this way. FB community page is for information sharing not for venting out personal vendetta's.

I am out of FB to keep my sanity, to stop wasting my time on the videos and gif's and meme's. I only checked message if they were from the communities I am a part of or from a few friends but I completely stopped responding to any messages or randomly liking things only to not hurt another person's feelings. Now I feel liberated...well, at least until I read such stupidity and get upset about. What horrible people would bully an adult woman and gang up on her! Ugh! With all technology we still remain stuck to our pettiness.

An Irate ART