You Guessed it Right!

October stumps me. Every year it ends up being the most busiest of months for me. I have to schedule two parties and attend various other fun events that have been planned months ahead. There are a minimum of three birthday's to celebrate among celebrating Diwali, Navrathri, Halloween and other stuff. Unfortunately there are only four weekends and only so much time to get everything done.

Each year I tell myself that I am going to get organized but it turns up like my new year resolution, only heard  of and never to happen. This year after so many plans and ideas we scheduled Babs birthday at a Gymnastics place four days before her birthday not because we wanted it then but because that was the only day available. Unfortunately that only gave me two weeks to prepare...and you might think two weeks is a lot of time but it is not if you are driving 100miles per day for work and crash at 8.30 every night to wake up early the next day. I barely spend time at home or with family. Life has changed...

To make things interesting I push things to the end. I waited till the last minute and thank God my parents surprised me with a visit and helped me take care of things. The big day came, Babs had a blast and so did most of her friends. She was pretend Simba for a few minutes and that made her day. She also got tons of clothes from us that morning, a surprise, and she was excited beyond words. Phew!

That is the beauty of these things. Somehow these things workout...you wonder how but it always does. I ran around so much that day that I barely remember sitting down but the look on Babs face made it all worthwhile.

A friend of mine remarked..."now we can say our kids are grown up, there is no running around or screaming and yelling at pizza time." That was the only time I stopped by to check and see what was happening around me, during the rest of the party, I was a headless chicken.

On the day of the party...she dressed up in her Indian dress, wore bangles and helped me carry her photo board to her school. Mom accompanied us and she had a blast showing off her new clothes, jewelry, and her photo board. It was a quick effort because I had completely forgotten about doing it but it worked out well as it was one of those, "less work more pretty" efforts.

Phew! daughter is 5, and her teacher warned me that soon they will turn 16. I freaked out...I already feel that Babs is 5 going on 16...and boy I do not know what I would do with her if she was really 16...

Loving, Tired 

Amma :)

Almost 5?! Chincha? Really?!

I cannot believe that I have spent my last five years being a mother first and foremost. I had started at the job with practically no experience and now I can say that with five years under the belt that I still think I am a novice. I am not the typical mom you would come to with advice...be it potty training or feeding, it all just happened while I was at work...I really say that. Things all happened and fell into place and I was there to catch it. With amazing baby sitters and friends I managed through somewhat decently.

Now that she is older and needs more time and more influence I am stuck. She will turn five in two weeks and then her life will change...yes dramatically so and over night. She will realize that she is big now because I have been harrassing her with it and then I will have to teach her big girl stuff...you may ask, like what? and I will tell you because I don't want you think something else up...you see there are so many things a parent has to teach her ward(s) like biking, running without falling, swimming, tennis, ice skating, singing, dancing, and of course the omnipresent Indian guide on "How to become an Engineer/Doctor/or something really cool."

This is too much pressure on us...the parents...I thought I had left the pressure system back in India when I moved out but apparently a whole bunch of others also relocated with me to make my life hell and keep the pressure on...how nice of you competitive Desi Tiger Mom's...so now there are decisions...schools...private vs public vs charter. The charter schools are filled with Desi moms who are ready to train their children into spelling bee champs or geography bee smart Alec's. I am even being stereotyped by people around me...Seriously, I might look like it but I am not that...I hate to force her to study. I even took her out of Ballet class because she visibly sucked...and then had to re-enroll because she so desperately wanted to give it a try...not my call...see...I hate to force...

But I realize that I am in the education race that I do not want to be a part of. I am being forced and so I will force her and then we will be in the rat race once again...the race that I wanted to leave behind in India. I wanted her to have a childhood free of feeling pressured...with five comes a whole new realm of life and responsibilities for the parents as well as the child(ren) and as excited as I am that she is older now, a side of me misses the carefree parenting days, when going to the park or lying on the bed was fun and I did not have to worry if she knew her sounds of her numbers. I miss holding her while sat still on me because now she is ready to bound away. I miss the days of me singing and her enjoying as against her telling me to keep quiet while she sang...life has changed.

Here is to my little monkey who is going to be 5 soon. You are the best 4 year old ever (and 3 and 2 and 1 and 0). You never bothered me with morning sickness or learning how to pee in pot or drink from a glass. You were quick to learn and easy to raise. Thanks for making mommyhood easy for me and your Papa. We love you the most and when we are not with you we are talking and thinking about you. You fill the voids and everything around us. You make us feel full and in your words...when you are a good girl, you fill my bucket (heart) and when you are bad...you still keep it full...

Love
Amma.

PS: You can sing almost all the songs on 106.1 Kiss FM. Your favorite is Maroon5 (Payphone). I have strictly prohibited you from singing Whistle (Flo-Rida) though you beg me to hear it. You also like (love) One Direction (Beautiful) and love Katy Perry.

Keep singing and keep us all happy.

Sunrise and Sunset

As far back as I can remember I have always been a sunset person. I would rather stay up late than to wake up early.  On the few days that I did wake up early I always made a point to note how much I got accomplished but never managed to make it my lifestyle choice. I enjoyed satying up as late as I possibly could. That is, until college happened.

My undergraduate college days saw me waking up again at 6.15am or 6.30am at the latest so that I could catch the 7.10 train (and 7.15 bus in the first year) at Nungambakkam station and start my 42 kilometer train journey. I hated it so much but never once missed making bus or train. I had two good classmates who sometimes were on the road when I got out of home and gave me a ride to the station. Else, it took me 10 minutes to cover the kilometer walk between home and station. And yet, the location being Chennai I never saw the sunrise...as by 7.00am the sun was hitting you hot and heavy...

During my Master's, there was a semester I had to audit a course that was at 7.30am. Groggy eye, in Kansas winter I would walk through snow and ice and make it to the class barely on time and then post session would go to the student union and sleep the rest of the hours off. I was so involved in sleep walking once that I had ignored to check the weather and had to be escorted by a cop back to home as the college was shut due to a blizzard through which I had walked...of course, first winter in life...do not judge me!

And when I started to work, I was always lucky to work 2 minutes away from home. No kidding! So again, I slept through sun rise but made to work on time...again, that is, until now, when I have to drive across town to make it to my new job...the excitement of seeing the sun rise in my rear view mirror is amazing! The red ball of beauty slowly comes up on me until it blinds me through the rearview mirror. The changes the sun rise brings to the sky is something I cannot explain but you have to experience. I now enjoy seeing that happen and waiting for it to happen after the sky first turns, yellow, pink, taupe, indigo, purple, and then he comes up! ah ha!

So now, I am a sunrise kind of person. I go to bed early, shut down watching my Korean dramas by 10, spend some time watching regular TV or doing stuff around the house and then I am done by 11...I am still getting used to it, my body is shocked but I know, like all else...this too shall become a part of me...

ART

Omo Othuke?!!!! (OMG What to do??!!!)

Ya, it has gone overboard…I am really enjoying this Korean thing. The best part, all my BFF’s are into it too. We meet and chat about all the Korean drama’s, our favorite actor (KJH! Of course!) and actresses, etc, etc, etc. It gets funny when we start wondering if every Asian person we meet is from Korea.

Last  Friday when we had gone to gobble up some of the best Sushi ever in the world at Masu Sushi (try saying that name continuously…such a tongue twister) and I was begging to say Kamsahamnida to the server. My husband and friends told me he must be Japanese…so no Hanguko (Korean). I prevailed, I stopped the already funny waited and asked him if he knew Hanguko too…and he said…”Ne (yes).” I squealed then my girlfriend S also squealed and then it started. We had the waiter spend most of his time on our table because we kept talking to him in Hanguko and asking him Hanguk (Korea) drama questions. He was Korean, as were many others who worked in the restaurant and everyone came to pay respect to me, the Indian who now considers herself to be a Hanguk Saram (Korean). Ya Chincha (really)!

This trend started during the Olympics, where Babs would cheer for America, I would for S.Korea and G getting frustrated for us cheered for China. We screamed loudly, beat our chest, and hi-fied, fought, blew raspberries and what nots…but in my house it is established that I am Hanguk Saram.

Oh and then! My break with staying at home came to an end. I think being a SAHM suddenly after having never done that is really a shocker. I realized how much of a slacker I was but then I think I spent the most quality time with my daughter. Who, of course, landed up breaking her arm under my supervision. Shredded my heart to pieces and then put them back together by handling the situation better than I ever could have. Such is life. This summer was amazing. Trip to meet family at NC, beach, tennis, and family time. Then staying home and relaxing with Korean Drama. Met friends whom I had not seen in eons, shopped, fought and what not’s.

And then the big life change. From driving a max of 25 miles per day I am now driving 100 miles per day at least to the new place of work. It was one of those decisions I had to make and I am pretty sure that I could not have chosen better. Like my aunt always told me, “all for good.” I want to believe in it. I hate the drive but it is worth it.

I slacked off blogging mainly because Babs broke her arm and I was heartbroken and then that flowed into laziness and hopefully soon I will be back in full flow.

Love

ART

Handle With Care...

There are some people in our life whom we should be able to put inside a brown box, fill it in with a lot of bubble wrap, tape it tightly, and then write the words, "Handle with care." Then we should put the box on the top most, most far away shelf from our reach and pray that it does not fall out, and that you should not have to open its contents again. Worse, should they be broken.

Phew! Did that mentally, feeling relieved now!

They are like the gifts you hate, that you keep away and pray there is a good occasion to re-gift. They are like the things you should have thrown out years ago but keep saving it for the unknown use they will be in the far away future. Each time you see them while you clean you are convinced that it should be thrown out but you hang on...why? I don't know. Or maybe I do know and just do not want to write it down here. I wish I could let go.

Obviously, I have been cleaning my house...sort of summer cleaning...but the above metaphor is so true for people too.

I hear the newly installed wind chime go ting ting tang...my heart feels good.

Now the kitchen cleaning should start but I am afraid of the ghosts (and metaphors) I might find inside there.

Love
ART