Regrets!

This last weekend and week was so busy...seriously no time to susu at work or at home...Friday night saw us going for a long walk at the naana-naani park (or better known as Gandhi Park) and then some amazing dinner a la SD-SC-RKRRS's (he is golti that's why so many initials)...and then on Saturday we had to go to this wonderful dance concert that our friend SV had invited us to and was performing in it too...a Kathak and Bharatanatyam performance...

So, why did I like the performance so much that I have to blog about it? Probably because I really enjoy the art of dance and dancing. It would have been my chosen career had I not taken up architecture... and it then makes me regret...a regret that goes long back...when I was 3...

I was about 2 and half years old...and my grandma used to take me to see a Bharatanatyam class in progress every day for an hour...nothing else held my attention as the dance class did...I would stand outside the class watching it spellbound and then would go home and repeat every step ad verbatim...I apparently had enjoyed it a lot...and what is worse? I even remember those evenings clearly in my mind...

When I turned three my Gran thought I was ready for the classes as many of my other classmates were also planning on enrolling and she took me to the Guru with the apt Dakshina (offering for a Guru) and everything...the Guru kindly took the dakshina but refused to teach me dance as he deemed that I was too young...

I clearly remember that evening when he told my Gran that I will not understand the subtle nuances of dance as I was too young...I came home disappointed, dejected, and made a subconscious decision that I hate Bharatanatyam and refused to go to any other teacher after that...everytime my mom tried I would cut classes and showed lack of interest and my mom finally quit trying...

when I was 26...I looked up on Ek Nazar for a Bharatanatyam teacher and found one online and called her...and that's how I met Ranjani...for a year and half we met once a week for classes and practice...we loved each other in a true Guru-Shishya fashion and I felt so nice...I regretted not having done so earlier when I had time at my hand...I remembered my mom...I felt bad...but then better late than never right?

But then Ranjani moved back to Singapore and left me Guru-less again...and now when I tried going back...it was difficult as I have Babs with me...and I only get weekends to spend with her and I don't want to miss out on that too leaving her alone with Girish for three hours...So I have put it on hold till Babs turns 3 so we can start afresh to gether with SV (hopefully)...

Coming back to Nirupama-Ranjendra's performance on Saturday...I was stunned, spellbound and awestruck...What can I say, I am just a novice...but I understood a bit more than others about dance...given I was not trained in Bharatanatyam or any other formal form...but I have danced on stage since I was 10 years old till I was 23...actually at 28 too I did a small Bharatanatyam item (thanks to Ranjani again)...so I can understand dance as an art critic will understand art...not just appreciate the difficulty but read a bit beyond the performance...and theirs was one of the highest quality I have seen in many years now...they had the audience in reverent silence...

If you are reading this from a different city other than Dallas...go and check out their performance in your city as they are on a tour...http://www.abhinavadancecompany.com/pages/company.html...you will not regret it...

I am all the more convinced that I will expose Babs to all forms of dance when she grows up...so that if she is like me, and interested, she can choose from a long list :)

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Personal Observation:

Since this is my blog...I choose to make some observations public...so read it, agree with it or ignore it...

Bharatanatyam is an art form that was perfomed by Devadasis in the temple for the Gods or for great kings or lesser kings...ya...these Devadasi's had another name...they were called Veshya's (is it a coincidence that it sounds like Geisha?) who lived a similar life to what you might have read in the popular book "Memoirs of a Geisha"...the only difference being they are married to god...and hence cannot get married to a human being but can act as concubines for rich people...this was a custom in most of South India and parts of North too...

But around independence time...the Brahmins...the so-called moral-police...banned this practice or custom and reduced these women to the status of prostitutes...their entire group was thrown to shame and were jobless and had no way to fend for themselves as their only form of employment was not banned...most of them did opt to prostituition as a result of joblessness...It was okay for brahmins to have devadasi concubines but somehow wrong for them to exist in the world...they made it impure...

But smartly...the brahmins did not mind adapting their music and dance form as theirs and allow their children to learn it...and suddenly it became a fashion for all brahmin kids to learn and singing and dancing...it was okay for them but not for devadasi's...all dance teachers and students were populated with brahmin kinds only...

For convenience sake they even looked past the fact that MS Subbulakshmi a great carnatic singer was a Devadasi by line of birth (although her dad was a brahmin)...but adored her music...hypocrites aren't we now?

So that is the history of Bharatanatyam...if you ask the affected people...they will agree that it is not a very colorful past...but then history is always written with the hands of a victor...

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I am not against Brahmins (guilty of being married to one) and neither do I have an opinion for or against the devadasi system...but just thought for the uninitiated this will be a good start to do some research...the links I have provided will take you through some good reading.

Ok lets see...They are BABIES!!!

Ya...that is what they are...

I am going to try real hard here not to sound angry...ya...but more pedantic because I know that most of my friends do not have a baby as yet...and me...when I was single or double (before becoming triple) would have done similar things...So here is a leaf out of my experience...

1) When you go out to a party where there are loads of new people would you go around socializing with every stranger the very minute you walk in? No right?

The same applies for a baby...they do not like to be carried around by strangers...from far they will try and smile...but if you rush to one immediately and try to carry him/her...the baby will cry...just like you would if anyone tried to carry you the very minute they meet you...

2) Do you have mood swings? Are you a bit cranky or draggy right after you wake up?

Well again, the same for babies too...they take at least 10 minutes after they wake up to socialize...only mommy can keep them cool then...so wait and give the baby some time before you try to jump in and get some attention for yourself...

3) Because they are babies...ya...if they did everything like we did...then they will not be babies now, will they? so ya...they are babies and will behave like babies...

There is one thing if you come and meet the baby often and you are already friends with the baby...then the baby's face will register the recognition no matter when, where or how you meet them...but if you meet them once in two months, you cannot expect the baby to fall in love with you the first minute you see them...also just because your brother's baby or your uncle's daughter is friendly with you does not ensure that others baby will also feel the same towards you...chances are you meet your uncle's kid more often than you meet your friend's kid...so wait, give them time...and trust me...the baby will come to you...just like us, adults, we take our time to blend into a new group but after sometime we do make some conversation and attempts at friendship...

Baby's are not teddy bears and they also hate being passed around...give them some space and they will come to you to make friends with you...ya...this is exactly the same reason why I am thinking so hard about a birthday party for her...she is going to turn one in less than a month...

I want that day to be special for her...not a scary one where one stranger after another picks her up...then she will cry...then the stranger will brand her CRANKY...and I will feel like throwing some cake on that person...why all the trouble...so I think I am going to throw a party where only BABBI's friends will be invited...not our (mine and G's) friends but hers...people whom she recognizes easily and will move around freely instead of being scared of them...I think that is what I want to do...

Anyways...loads of planning to do...gotta go...

TC

Love
ART

Things I would not do...

When I was pregnant a few things irritated me...I never spoke about it because I know the people saying it were my good friends who thought that they were doing me a favor...but here is a small list...

1) I absolutely did not like people warning me about the impending lack of sleep after the baby arrived...it was one thing to let you know about it...and it was completely another to tell it like, "Oh wait...once you have your baby...forget sleep and all that...then you will know what it is like..."

I am sitting and wondering...I know not everyone enjoys the first few days with baby...but why are you so bitter about it? and somewhere there are the unsaid words of "join the club."

2) You can touch my belly...but ask me first...unless of course you are my husband or one of my BFF's.

3) "Oh! you are getting induced? Thank god I did not have to go through that." And I was looking at this girl thinking WTF???

4) "So how is it like being a mother?" Well I really cannot describe it to you because it is something that needs to be felt personally and no amount of words can describe the excitement, tensions, fun, confusions, etc, etc, etc,....ya very personal...sorry had to give you the cliched..."I am sooooooooo excited..." crap...

There are many more...and you know what I will keep adding them...the list goes on...

Most of my pregnancy was peaceful...but for the few times a few of my friends (ya friends) ruined it for me...I hope I will never do the same to others...and ever since I have made it clear to my friends who are pregnant that they will hear only the positive sides of having a child...ya you do loose sleep but by the time the baby is a year old...you do not remember any of those sleepless nights or those cranky days...they are all gone replaced by half teeth butting out here and there and the glorious smile of recognition that comes upon their face when they see you...so relax and enjoy during your pregnancy awaiting the entry of the life that will change you for ever...will make you see your past, present and future in a different light...and stop worrying about trivialities such as sleep, hunger, etc etc etc...they last only for a year or two at most...in the grand scheme of things how much time is 2 years???


Note to self-1: Not a fan of hypocrisy or hypocrites
Note to self-2: Guilty of committing the crime...I will henceforth never ask anyone/a couple/newlywed/etc/etc...if they are planning to have a kid soon, or if they are pregnant, or if they are trying, etc etc etc...Sorry to those whom I asked this before...did not mean to put undue pressure or make an awkward situation...
Note to self-3: I should stop abusing the acronym ETC...

Long live Mid-Day

I think I have a bunch of friends who are creative with words...

The other day I saw a Raza Murad joke on Mid-Day and forwarded it to my friends for a laugh...it has been our tradition among us for sometime now...anything funny, ridiculous or stupid we read it and forward it and all of us follow the piece of news in Mid-Day and then discuss it during the weekend over chai and toast...

Ya Mid-Day is one of our main sources of entertainment...all of us have read it and we know all the stupid news and many funny things...like the dog who caught a theif in the railway station and his diet of poori's and aloo...and also of the 80 year old horny elephant who went all the way to Kerala from Mumbai to get some action only to realize that the 16 year old female did give him a second look and had to travel all the way back to Mumbai...Mid-Day covered this news with day by day update on the travel of the horny old guy...

So when I forwarded the Raza Murad Joke...which went like this...

Q What would have been the title of Ru-Ba-Ru had Mallika Sherawat played the lead in it?
A Ru-'Bra'-Ru.

My friend S replied back saying...

"Oh.....I thought it'd be "Boob-a-Ru" "

Then another wrote back saying

"I thought it would be Ruk -Bra-mein-Ruk (don't fall out of the Bra)"

Finally S sent out another e-mail

Q In which movie does Mallika Sherawat take a quick dump??


A Hug-lee aur Bagh-lee

We could not stop laughing...

This weekend we are having a get together at S's and it is going to be fun reviewing all the crappy (no pun intended) jokes in person!!!


PS: This post if for people who can speak or understand Hindi...if you do not then this might not make too much sense to you :)
PS2: Sometimes Blogspot can get to you...It has been irritating me with the font...my format is all messed up...grrr....

How can I write about something that is so clearly politically motivated and make it sound non-political or neutral? How can I write about something that is so terribly personal and make it impersonal? How can I write about something that is so clearly tragic and make it sound okay? I know...I cannot...but I am going to try nevertheless...

Once again India rocked as Delhi echoed with the noises of the five bomb blasts...but once again everyone's life moved on after a brief moment of shock and anger followed by phone calls to loved ones...ya...that is how we are...us Indians...that is how much time we can spare for our country...whether we live there or outside of there...

This does make us sound like "we are used to this kind of thing," which most of us are not...Mumbaikars can take the sole bragging rights of "oh! Big deal we have been there done that during black friday, train bombs, so on and so forth..." but India is made up of more than just Mumbai and me not being one from there is certainly not used to these things but...my question is...then how come this is the universal attitude in the entire country?

Even people around me, initially who used to ask me "oh this happened in your country..." have stopped asking me the same now...I wonder if it is because I don't react much to their question or because in the recent past it has been such a common occurence that they feel if anyone dies in my family they will surely hear about it from me? No, I am not complaining that no one asks me any more...thanks for the privacy...but I am just wondering if my attitude of "Life has to go on" caught up to them also when it comes to India?

I hope everyone's everyone is fine in India...Being so far away, and with my "I am so sorry for the loss but we cannot do anything because our government sucks," attitude I still pray for everyone and pray for all my near and dear ones who are in those cities that have been waking up to the sounds of blasts and people dying...Sorry...

One final crib: I am tired of people from Bombay/Mumbai saying the following:
1) Oh Mumbai operated full fledge right after the train bombs...
2) There was no looting during the 7/26 rains...
3) Oh, we are very resilient and nothing can stop us...
4) So on and so forth...

Enough with it already...Why did we have to develop resilience to the terrorist activities? Aren't we a country made up of highly intelligent people (no one can even doubt that and if you have any doubts talk to me and I will be more than happy to clear it for you)...then why and oh why I ask again are we being led by fools? IMHO our political system is a mockery in the name of democracy...I am going shut up right here lest I go on full barrel about my real feelings...so until next time...

Love
ART

PS1: Om Shanti Om...that's all I ask for...
PS2: Not the SRK movie
PS3: the PS1, 2, 3 is not the Gaming system...refers to postscript...thanks :)